Woke Feminism is Toxic Feminism!

The definition of ‘woke feminism’ is a hard one to explain.

I watched a few videos on YouTube talking about feminism and how it is growing increasingly toxic, one of which I took a lot of points from in this post called Everything Wrong with Woke Culture so check that out and do your own research and reading. 🙂

 

In recent years, there has been a rise in female empowerment in media, whether that be in film, tv shows, books, etc. But that’s not necessarily true…

Bad-ass, empowering, strong and brave women have been in the media for ages. Not as much as we would like but they have been there. These include characters such as Katniss, Black Widow, Mulan (cartoon), The Bride, Ellen Ripley (Alien), Trinity (The Matrix). However, in recent years, there has been a rise in many woman-led main roles, such as Captain Marvel, Ocean’s 8, Wonder Woman, Charlie’s Angels, Birds of Prey, etc. Although I do like a lot of these films, there is a serious issue within most of them regarding ‘woke feminism’.

 

These characters are designed to be powerful, strong warrior like people, but can also be very arrogant and act very entitled and toxic. There isn’t much growth and learning within these characters, too, displaying that women are born skilled and strong and invincible whereas, in real life, that’s definitely not true. We are raised and we grow to be strong and talented and skilled and brave, we aren’t handed that at birth.

But, Shay, they’re just films, not real life!

With my own experiences as evidence, I have always yearned for representation of women and women of colour in the media because as a young girl, growing and vulnerable to insecurities in this society, I needed someone to look up to and use as a tool to encourage myself to be confident in who I am. I think representation of women, of all backgrounds, colours, sexualities, etc, are important, for the reason being that young girls need that! That being said, we need representation of real women. That’s the whole point of this ‘rise in female roles’; it’s to increase representation. But their representations are wrong with this perception women do not need growth and do not need to work hard to earn their skills and rewards. Growth is important! And so is learning.

 

Something I find common in bad portrayals of women is that they can be very arrogant and entitled. How are these traits going to benefit younger girls and even older women in any way? We are not entitled just because we are women. Just because we’re women and demand equality and want to break down the patriarchy does not mean that we should be fed success instantly without working for it or having any reason to earn it. Teaching girls that they are entitled to anything and everything is toxic. There’s a contrast between the old cartoon Mulan and the new live-action Mulan. Old Mulan started off as this girl, who was a little anxious and had empathy and compassion but still strong and built up her confidence and bravery throughout the film whereas this new Mulan starts off straight away as incredibly strong and skilled. Very realistic. This is the same case with Captain Marvel, who barely worked to get where she was and was emotionless and kind of boring.  Yes, they are strong and brave but they’re boring, unrelatable and unrealistic because they’re so superficial and shallow. And it has nothing to do with them being women dominating the screen because Wonder Woman does it well and was a good film with an amazing female character! In general, using the excuse ‘I am a woman’ to explain why a character is so strong or basing her whole personality and motives on the fact she is a woman, or using society as the villain is tiresome. It’s great to hear the encouragement that ‘women can do anything’ since it’s so inspiring but that doesn’t mean we can do EVERYTHING. This can create a negative effect on younger girls and other women. Sometimes this can be done well, but done badly, it just takes us ten steps back in feminism.

 

The women written nowadays aren’t written as if they’re people, they’re written as an agenda to bring down men. That is not feminism. Feminism is not taking down men to lift ourselves up. We demand equality not world domination.  In fact, it’s almost insulting to women watching, seeing that these female characters are only elevated by belittling men as if that’s the only way a female led film can do well. For example, Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo in The Last Jedi is so condescending and hateful towards men and I understand that there was a need to display her as a strong woman with high power but that’s no reason to bring down a man. He just wanted to help. There is no superior gender, but these movies are making it out to force that. Hermione Granger is another example. The books describe a very dynamic, 3D version of Hermione, who is intelligent, strong but also loving and relies on her friends and is relatable whereas movie Hermione is very perfect and way better than her male peers, and although I still like movie Hermione, I can admit she was hard to connect and relate to.

Yes, there’s nothing wrong with having male villains; sometimes in real life, men are obstacles for women. But these ‘woke feminist’ female characters and movies are so obsessed with trying to take down men as a whole.

 

And when these films with poor female leads don’t do well, or people don’t like them, it’s because they’re sexist. No. If a film is bad, that film is bad. There are so many films with amazing women in that do well, so sexism is not an excuse. I have found that a lot of people find some female characters to be cringey when if a male doing the same thing wouldn’t be and that is sexism and discriminatory but if a character is cringey, arrogant, 2D, entitled, unrealistic and boring, regardless of their gender, that’s a problem with their production and writing not with sexism.

Take Mulan, for example. Why did the cartoon version do so much better than the live action one? Same concept of the character but different execution.

Of course, if an important part of the character for the sake of the story is arrogance and entitlement, etc, then fine, but we want confidence not arrogance and hard work and growth not entitlement. We need dynamic and different characters, not the same superficial archetype every bad-ass female movie has. WE WANT QUALITY NOT JUST “FEMINISM”!

 

I am grateful we have moved far from the ‘damsel in distress’ type ladies like old Disney princesses and the ‘fixer upper’ girls like Laney in She’s All That and Allison in The Breakfast Club but we might be going a bit far off course. Feminism is steering into a bad direction and it’s feeding into the stigma around it. I know SO MANY people, who do not consider themselves feminists or who judge me for claiming to be one, and I believe it’s because of this woke feminism. Woke feminism is related to elite feminism, where people believe that women are superior. In particular cis-gendered women too. NO! NO ONE IS SUPERIOR!

The feminist message these toxic portrayals are delivering aren’t going to be listened to. It is spreading the wrong message and creating more toxicity and stigma.

We need better female portrayals!

 

Do you agree?

-Shay

The Hustler Blogger Award!

The Hustler Blogger Award was created by Mark Anthony (go check out his blog RIGHT NOW I DEMAND YOU!) The reason he called it “Hustler Blogger Award” is because “I aim to give it to virtual space users out there who really keeps pushing not just for self-progress, but also to inspire other people through their website content”.

 

 

 

The Rules

  1. Make sure the award banner (above) is in the award post!
  2. Be sure to give Mark Anthony (markanthonyswall.wordpress.com) pingback on your post, so he will be able to read them.
  3. Nominate bloggers (more than five!)
  4. Answer these questions :
    ° Why did you start a blog?° What/who inspired you to do it?° What motivates you to keep pushing and creating content and make your site alive?° Who are your fave bloggers? And how do they urge you to grow as well?

    ° What lesson/s have you learned through your experience?

    ° Has blogging brought an impact to you as a person? If yes, what are these?

    ° Not everyone is confident enough to start a blog. What advice can you give ’em?

    ° Give 3 facts about you as a blogger (strengths or flaws)

    ° Drop down your blog post which you are most proud of (together with the link so we can read it)

 

 

 

The Questions

Why did you start a blog?

I started my blog out of pure boredom on a January evening in 2015. I HATE the beginning of the years (I don’t now as much) so I wanted to start something exciting that I could get passionate about so I wouldn’t feel bored and down. And so I created this blog 🙂 I also wanted it to be a place I could write out my thoughts and possibly help someone who was like me.

 

What/who inspired you to do it?

As much as I cringe to say it, I had just finished Girl Online by Zoella and thought that creating a blog would be a fun thing to do to help me through my own struggles.

 

What motivates you to keep pushing and creating content and make your site alive?

I’m not going to lie, motivation to keep this blog running is quite difficult for me. I like doing it because it’s a place for me to express my own opinions and articulate myself, as well as a place where I can write, which I love to do. If anything motivates me at all, it’s the fact that I can spread awareness and my thoughts on certain topics and also possibly helping people.

 

Who are your fave bloggers? And how do they urge you to grow as well?

I’ve had so many favourite bloggers over the years, ones who I have become friends with too! Having friends to blog with is encouraging and helps me to grow because it pushes me to put out better content like them. Some of these people include Elm, who I used to blog with AGES ago, Josh Gross, who has been a massive support on this blog, Mia (who used to be known as Crystals and Curls), who creates amazing content that motivates me. There’s loads more!

 

What lesson/s have you learned through your experience?

The main lesson I think is REREAD WHAT I WROTE! I used to make SOOOOOO many spelling, grammar, punctuation mistakes in my posts so I have learnt to reread and reread my work! Apart from that, I have learnt a lot about the things I write about too since they require research! This blog has made me way smarter than I used to be. I feel a lot more knowledgeable about certain things and less ignorant.

 

Has blogging brought an impact to you as a person? If yes, what are these?

As I said, it’s made me less ignorant. I have done a lot of research about different things like racism and sexism and mental health and that has changed me as a person and changed my perspective and opinions. I’m so glad that this blog has done that because it has also made me feel like a better person! It has also improved my writing skills! 🙂

 

Not everyone is confident enough to start a blog. What advice can you give them?

I would say just give it a go! Try it out for three months and if you decide it’s not for you, then you can just delete it. It’s nerve racking sharing yourself online like that, I understand, because I have been there, but you will soon get used to it and comfortable with it and it creates a therapeutic escape I think! Like everything in life, give it a chance. Don’t pressure yourself into obtaining 100 followers by a month, or posting everyday, etc. Blogging is a lot more than just about the numbers!

 

Give 3 facts about you as a blogger (strengths or flaws)

  • I would say I’m quite dedicated to my posts. I will do a lot of research about something I am writing about such as my previous post about Death Celebrations, etc. I enjoy researching too because it means I learn a lot from it.
  • My motivation fluctuates. Sometimes I will post loads and sometimes I’ll take months away from blogging because I’m not motivated or I’m busy with other things like Uni and work. I’m trying to get better at that though! 😅
  • I LOVE reading other people’s posts and engaging with other people in the blogosphere. I always love finding new blogs too! If there are any cool bloggers you know, please link them in the comments.

 

Drop down your blog post which you are most proud of (together with the link so we can read it)

This is super hard because I’m not really sure which one I am most proud of. I’m usually a very self critical person about things I create but with this blog, I am surprisingly proud of a lot of it. Dark Skin is one I am proud of because it was the first time, on this blog, I talked about my insecurities with my skin colour and I felt proud that I reached a point where I could openly talk about it and not just that, use it as a way to discuss white privilege and problems with racism and my own experiences. It definitely could have been written better but it was a while ago and it was the start of me discussing racism and the media on this blog, which is very important to me.

 

 

 

My Nominees

Mark Anthony – even though you created this award, you deserve to be nominated to do it yourself 🙂

Happy Panda

Reindeershermaine

Crystal

Arabella Says So

Yeo Ye Hang

 

Thank you again, Mark, for the nomination. I can’t wait to see other people’s posts on this! Please make sure to link me or notify me so I can read them!

 

-Shay

Can Positivity Be Toxic?

Can positivity get toxic, really?

YES!

 

Positivity is great and all but toxic positivity ignores the fact that a person is suffering. It is saying “be positive, be grateful, other people have it worse” when someone is in pain. It says to pretend to be okay when someone clearly isn’t. It masks the problem.

You’ll get over it!

Look on the bright side!

It could be worse!

Everything happens for a reason!

Just keep smiling!

Stop being so negative!

These are some examples, out of many, of toxic positivity. And I’m sure you have used one of these phrases, or something like it, before. I for sure have. Saying it to yourself might help to cheer you up but saying it to another person can be harmful. It can even be harmful to you if you’re burying your problem. An analogy I used to explain this was like taking painkillers for a malignant tumour that’s causing pain without actually dealing with the tumour; it’s only going to get worse.

 

I have been at fault of toxic positivity multiple times, like many people, maybe even on this blog, because as a society, we don’t address mental health well. We weren’t really taught how to encounter mental health issues in a proper way and we’re told be happy, be positive constantly. But it needs to stop.

 

I either read about this or heard it in a podcast, but I came to understand negative emotions aren’t bad. Anger isn’t bad. Envy isn’t bad. Sadness isn’t bad. We divide emotions up into good and bad; happiness is good, sadness is bad; we’re taught to suppress and avoid the bad ones. But we have the ability to experience these emotions for a reason! They’re not there for no reason! Toxic positivity sees these emotions as bad. In fact, personally, I believe no emotion is bad at all. We need to embrace them and channel them in a healthy way. A clinical psychologist, Dr Jaime Zuckerman, says, “Avoidance or suppression of emotional discomfort leads to increased anxiety, depression, and overall worsening of mental health.”

 

So how do we be non-toxic positive?

  1. Address your raw, real emotions. Don’t bury it. Don’t try and find a way to be happy without actually dealing with your anger or frustration or stress or sadness. If you’re feeling stressed about a workload, make a schedule and divide your work up into smaller pieces making it seem less stressful or daunting, for example. Or if you’re feeling sad or angry from a conflict with someone, talk to that person face to face or through text or a letter, etc, whatever you feel comfortable with. Brainstorm a solution to the problem you’re having – the solution could be simple or complex, getting someone to help you might be useful too.
  2. Find a way to cope with it inside of faking a smile and saying “be positive”! This could be through:
    -Listening to music
    -Channelling through art (painting, writing, playing an instrument, etc)
    -Meditating, yoga and breathing exercises (the one to the right has helped me before)
    -Vent in a journal
    -Dance it out! Or even just do a workout
    -Go outside on a walk or somewhere nice and calm
    -Watch a film in which you can relate to so you don’t feel alone or find comfort
    -Talk to someone about how you’re feeling
  3. Don’t shame other people’s negative emotions. Everybody experiences emotions like anger, stress, sadness, frustration, etc; it’s a very normal thing. We shouldn’t look down on people experiencing these emotions and judging them or shaming them will only make it worse for them! Instead, change your perspective on emotions and understand that it’s a normal human reaction and behaviour, helping us to tackle our everyday lives and problems.
  4. Step away from social media. Social media is a breeding ground for toxic positivity where it’s spread by people, who aren’t really aware that it is toxic. Taking a break from it could be beneficial to you and make you feel a bit free and more in control of your emotions instead of being fed quotes and posts that won’t help you.
  5. Spread awareness about toxic-positivity! Point out toxic positivity to people and correct them for it. I’ve put a table of correct things to say in place of toxic positivity below to make it clearer what is right and wrong. Non-toxic positivity accepts a person’s emotions and suffering instead of just trying to move past it and ignoring it.

Alternate phrases to avoid toxic positivity #CoolGuide | Mental and emotional health, Emotional health, Positivity

I hope this helped to make you familiar with what toxic positivity is and why it is bad.

 

-Shay

100 Days Of Rejection Challenge?

Zoey 101 rejected - TV Fanatic

The 100 Days Rejection Challenge is a challenge in which you basically seek out rejection for 100 days! And this means REJECTION! You have to sought out situations which could likely result in  rejection such as asking a stranger for £100 or asking for a free room at a hotel.

The creator of this challenge is Jia Jiang, who gave a TedTalk about it. His goal was to desensitise himself from the pain of rejection and overcome fear.

 

At first, it sounded very silly and kind of scary to me but upon further thought, I actually think it’s brilliant. So many people fear rejection, to the point where they won’t put themselves in any situations that could potentially result in rejection like telling someone you like them or going for a job opportunity.

I, personally, don’t really fear rejection, but nonetheless, this challenge will 100% build confidence and install a warrior within you because 100 days of rejection makes a person resilient and fearless.

 

Of course, 100 days is a lot and starting from avoiding rejection to going 100 days with rejection is a big leap so even if you can’t manage the full 100 days, don’t be afraid to face rejection in you day to day life. You have nothing to lose. You only have one life and you’ll have regrets if you don’t take opportunities or take control of your own life. Take rejection one step at a time.

 

Take this post as a sign to apply for that job or ask someone out or do whatever it is you’re fearing because of rejection. Just give it a go, for me. 🥺

 

“Sometimes rejection in life is redirection.”

-Shay

Death Celebrations!

Death is a strange topic because it sounds scary but it’s inevitable and universal. The thing every single one of us have in common is death (and the fact we’re alive, duh!). But we’re all going to experience death one day, unless somehow science manages to make us immortal. But is immortality even a blessing?

 

Death is something people fear, leading to existential crises and worrying about every move but really, death is kind of a blessing. Without death, what would we even be doing? Life wouldn’t be exciting and adventurous. We wouldn’t have bucket lists, which encourage us to live our lives to the fullest.

 

Because of this fear we have of death, it has become this taboo topic, we avoid speaking about. But we have to speak about it more. Especially with children. Most people seriously underestimate children and how much information and big topics they can process but it’s the prime time to bring them to familiarisation with these big topics whether that be mental health, climate change, racism and sexism and of course, death. They can handle a lot more than you think.

Discussing death with children can make it seem less scary, supporting them. It can be a scary and confusing thing and it enables children to ask questions. Kids are curious by nature and allowing them to better understand topics like this means they can explore it and question it in their own way instead of being confronted with it head on when someone dies later on in their life.

When I was younger, I went to a lot of funerals; being in a big family, there were a lot of deaths. At first, I didn’t really understand death, seeing people cry and the dismal vibe in the air was a bit overwhelming. I wasn’t close to any of the people that died but it’s still quite a bit to process for a child. The first death, close to me, was my cat, and still is my cat. That was one of the worst feelings in my life; it was confusing, shocking, overwhelming, heartbreaking, devastating and left me bewildered, lost and confused. I didn’t know how to express my feelings and I wasn’t encouraged to talk about it and felt ashamed to cry and show any extreme emotions so it all bottled up. I was never spoken to about it. It took me god knows how long to get over it. I can only wish, now, that my parents had talked to me about it and in the future, I will make sure to talk to my own kids about it (death, not my cat).

Talking about death will give you peace of mind.

 

As I said, the funerals I went to were very dismal, icy and melancholic. However, death is celebrated very differently by many cultures, different to the Christian and Catholic-like rituals most Western society and cultures have. Here are some of the different celebrations:

 

Mexico

Everyone has heard day of the dead, also known as Día de Los Muertos, which is celebratedCelebrating Dia de los Muertos at Dominican | November 1st and 2nd. Families are reminded of their dead loved ones, keeping their memories alive and visiting their graves to clean and deliver gifts like flowers. The festival is celebrated in a blast of colour and parades, singing and dancing. It’s truly beautiful and an amazing way to celebrate the dead.

 

Brazil

A few other places in Latin America celebrate Día de Los Muertos but in a calmer way, such as in Brazil, families come together and bring gifts to cemeteries. They also attend mass and eat Churrasco together, which is Brazilian barbeque.

 

Sweden

In Sweden, when someone dies, the body is kept somewhere special for one to three weeks before being buried or cremated. Swedish flowers are laid on the coffin and songs are sung.

 

Poland

The Polish open doors and windows of the house of the person who died so the soul can pass to the spiritual world from their house. Mirrors are also covered and clocks are stopped.

 

Ireland 

Like in Poland, the Irish open windows for two hours so the soul of the deceased can pass out to leave. Blocking the open windows is believed to bring bad luck. After two hours, the windows are shut to prevent the soul from coming back.

 

Muslim Rituals

One of my manager’s cousins died recently, in which he had to travel for the Muslim rituals of death, which is when I first came to learn about it. The Islamic law (sharia) appeals for the rituals Funeral-Islam - Islam rites of passageand burial to happen as soon as possible, usually within 24 hours. The funeral happens at a mosque after washing the body and covering it whilst the body’s hands are placed in prayer. The body as well as the funeral attendees face mecca while being led by the holy leader (Imam) in prayer. The coffin is buried facing mecca followed by prayer (salah). The burial is usually only attended by men and three handfuls of dirt are thrown in by each person. The next several days are followed by other death rituals such as on the seventh day, people visit the grave and bring food to the poor. On the fortieth day, mourners start to wear regular clothes instead of black. In comparison to other mourning rituals and death celebrations, it lasts a lot longer.

 

China

Like Día de Los Muertos, the Chinese have Qingming. It’s Tomb Sweeping Day and the graves of their loved ones are taken care of by cleaning it, cutting weeds, etc. Gifts and offerings are alsoHolidays: Tomb-Sweeping Day also known as Qing Ming takes place in early April, people sweep tombs, and give food a… | Festivals in china, Chinese festival, Holiday brought such as paper, symbolising money. Kites with lanterns are also flown to represent good fortune. This is their way of paying respect to the dead.

 

South Korea

Koreans have Chuseok, a festival in which families wake up early and prepare their tables with food (food is an important part of this celebration as they believe their ancestors harvest the crops of fruits and grains during this time). They bow twice at the table and proceed to eat. They also visit their ancestors’ tombs. People view this celebration as the South Korean Thanksgiving.

 

Japan

The Japanese celebrate the Obon festival, celebrated for three days (13th to 15th of the 7th month on the lunar calendar). Lanterns are placed around the city, rivers and lakes to guide their ancestors, they believe have returned during this period, back to their origins. The graves of families’ loved ones are also visited to be cleaned and to pray at.

Pin by Morikami Museum on Spy Vibe Novel | Japan, World photography, Japanese festival

Egypt

In ancient Egypt, when someone died, there was a lot of worshipping towards the different gods they believed in. They would parade around town with mud on their faces. Organs would be removed and kept in jars from the body, except for the heart. The priest would wash the body and put oil as well as water from the Nile river on it before mummification. The body was then mummified, proceeded by people following the priest while he prayed over the body. I couldn’t find a lot of information on current Egyptian traditions when it comes to death, it was mainly about ancient Egyptian rituals so if anyone knows a bit about current traditions, I would love to know.

 

Hawaii

There is a thousand year old sacred tradition called the Clean Burial where after the body is partially cremated, the bones are salvaged and buried. The bones are placed in a a Hawaiian-made cloth in a burial container. However, I think this tradition has stopped because of health concerns. Nowadays, the funerals are a combination of ancient tradition and modern traditions of the West. In the eulogy, funny stories are shared and laughter is encouraged to show affection.

 

Nigeria

Nigerian funerals contain a lot of singing, dancing, music. In fact, they believe the more of this, the better chance of a successful afterlife the deceased person has. There is prayer, poetry and eulogies. Sometimes there are animal sacrifices such as goats to eat. Burial preparations can last a long time but this depends on the religious beliefs of the family. As I said before, Muslims bury the body facing Mecca but sometimes Nigerians bury depending on gender: men are buried facing east to see the sunrise and women are buried facing the west to see the sunset and so she can prepare dinner for her husband in the afterlife. The body is covered in black earth (red earth is believed to cause blemishes in the afterlife). Special and significant items may be buried with the individual to help them in the afterlife.

 

Ghana

Ghanaians announce the death of a loved one with a letter or email. The main celebration occurs Saturday morning after the burial. There are many different tribes in Ghana who haveWelcome to Ghana, where the funerals are gigantic parties – The Denver Post different death rituals and religious beliefs from the Ashanti tribe to the Mole-Dagbon. In the Ashanti tribe, the family will prepare the body. The festivities include respecting the body as it goes to the ancestral world (Okra). Hundreds of people may attend the festivities; it isn’t just intimate. The Ashanti chief sits under colourful umbrellas, observing. The family members wear red or black. It is common for Ghanaians to sing gospel hymns and other religious songs. Fantasy caskets are commonly used too where casket makers will shape it to look like something the deceased loved such as a plane or bird or sea-creature, etc. A week after the loved one has died, the family will gather to remember them and their life.

 

South Africa

The window of the house that death occurred in may be covered in ash and all beds are removed. Sometimes there is an animal sacrifice to please ancestors. After the funeral and burial, attendees wash off any dirt before entering their houses to get rid of bad luck. Sometimes there is a wake known as the After Tears party entailing drinking and joking, comforting relatives and remembering the deceased.

 

Tibet

Another death ritual I found extremely interesting was the Tibetan Sky Burial. It is a funeral tradition where the corpse of the deceased is put on a mountaintop near a hoard of vultures where they eat at the dead and take it up into the sky. This is a way of giving back to the elements.

Sky Burial Custom in Tibet

Every family is different, no matter what country you are from so rituals differ from family to family but these are some of the traditions that these countries hold. Some bits of information may not be accurate; I’m not an expert on the different traditions in each culture, this is what I have learnt from research. Please do correct me, if there are any mistakes.

Death isn’t necessarily a bad thing, or a curse. Of course, it is a sad, devastating thing but there’s no point stressing or dreading it as it will happen to all of us and we can’t change that. Instead, we should embrace our lives and celebrate the lives and accomplishments of our loved ones, too. Discuss and talk about it and normalise it, not just within our society but within yourself.

 

I would love to know your opinion on death and any cultural rituals you know of.

 

-Shay

Plant Mum! 🌱

The start of 2019, I made the resolution that I would have plants since reading “Plants. Are. Good. For. Your. Mental. Health.”

This is where my addiction began.

 

My first plant was little Velma! I don’t know what kind of plant she was but she was a little cutie and I started to see how having a plant would help my mental health (ha!). She was my little baby.

Velma (front) and Daphne (back)

Velma was then joined by Daphne, my indoor daffodil. I was so excited as Daphne was a little baby so wasn’t a full daffodil yet and I was eager to see her progress, flourishing into the beauty she was going to be. That never came.

Vera was the next addition, an aloe vera.

Velma and Daphne eventually died. RIP.

And this is where it becomes a big old blur!

 

Vera

Vera was thriving, living her best life and then I adopted a little cactus off Etsy named Dr Xero (until writing this post I forgot I still have him). Dr Xero has a PhD. He’s also in love with Vera. Hehe. 

 

I then got this white flowery plant called Zara. She died. 

Zara was replaced when I adopted Bing Bong from Morrisons, a pink flowery beauty, who soon died too. God showed me no mercy.

 

My friend and I had a little cinema date to watch Jumanji 2 and on our adventure in Tescos, looking for snacks, we encountered the beauty that soon became Woody, out mini christmas tree plant. He has fake snow on him! We have shared custody but I’ve had him for a while. He’s turning yellow. 

Woody and his parents

 

My boyfriend and I then went to IKEA where we got matching lily plants. I named my one Lily and he named his Arthur. Couple goals.

Lily ft. sunflowers

 

I started to get too excited and very carried away. From this website, Patch Plants, I bought Leafy, a Devil’s ivy plant AND a Chinese money plant, I named Penny. 

Penny soon died.

 

My precious aloe vera, Vera, started to go mushy so I swapped her for my sister’s very healthy aloe vera and pretended like nothing happened. 😀

 

At this point, I don’t really know what happened. Somewhere along the way I got Alice/Maddie (idk what I even named her), and she was a tradescantia sitara. She was cool. She died. 

 

My dad bought me this asparagus plant thingy that looks like a tree from a savannah so I think I called my plant Savannah but I don’t remember. She’s basically dead but I keep her corpse in my room. It brings me comfort. 🙂

 

Boo (left) and Aurora (right)

I then got a cool pink succulent, in which I LOVED. I called her Aurora, she was beautiful. She was my pride and joy. She tied my room together. And then she started turning green and crippled away no matter what I did. I also got my bamboo plant, Boo, at the same time and I absolutely adored her. She is now on her way to the afterlife. 

 

My boyfriend and I then went on another plant spree and we got two plants each. I got a rubber plant, because I heard they were easy to look after and I also got this tiny little purple leaved plant. Robin was my rubber plant and the little purple one was called Raven and I put a tiny little witch’s hat on her. Raven may or may not be dead but she is still in my room. 

 

For Christmas, I got this cool plant, I don’t know what it’s called. I don’t think I named it either. Might as well not because guess what, it’s basically dead. My cat, Willow, also for some reason LOVED to eat his leaves so I had to move it away. 

My plant and Willow

During my plant collecting time, I also tried to propagate a mint plant. I think I tried three/four times and they kept dying. I am cursed. 

 

Currently, the plants I still have are:

  • Raven, my purple leaved plant (basically dead)
  • Woody, my Christmas plant (although pee pee yellow)
  • Boo, my bamboo (dead!)
  • Savannah, asparagus plant (surprise, dead-ish!)
  • Unnamed Christmas plant (dry and dead like my insides)
  • Robin, my rubber plant (missing leaves but is okay)
  • Vera, my aloe vera (I AM VERY SAD ABOUT THIS BUT SHE IS TURNING YELLOW!)
  • Leafy, my Devil’s Ivy (is missing a lot of leaves)
  • Lily, my lily (she’s actually good)
  • Dr Xero, my cactus (thriving, well and healthy!)

I really really love plants but they don’t love me. It’s the same with squirrels. I’m not sure if Winter is the reason my current plants are departing or because no one watered my plants while I was gone for a month but I don’t think I should be getting anymore. 😦

 

The moral of the story is, I think I have an addictive personality and plants caused more stress and grief on me than I ever could imagine. FUN!

 

THE END

-Shay

Awesome Blogger Award!

I was nominated by The Unknown Wiki, who is kind of new blogger, with relatable posts, some of which really get you thinking like her Who Am I? post. Please go and support her blog, she deserves it! 😀

 

Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Include the reason behind the award
  • Include the banner in your post
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the Reader
  • Answer the questions your nominator gave you
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers
  • Give your nominees 10 new questions to answer
  • Let your nominees know they’ve been nominated!

 

The Reason for the Award

This Award is to acknowledge all the amazing bloggers out there and give some happiness and laughter to their reader. It was originally created by the fabulous Maggie.

 

The Questions and My Answers

  1. Do you wear make-up? Why?
    Yes I do: usually I just fill in my eyebrows just a little and then wear very subtle orange eyeshadow. I do it because a)I like the look of it b)the orange eyeshadow makes me look not dead and c)I’ve gotten into habit of doing it now. I also curl my eyelashes because I like my eyelashes touching my eyebrows XD but I hate having to deal with mascara.
  2. What would you eat if you had to eat it for the rest of your life?
    Potatoes. I love potatoes. Mashed. Fried. Baked. Boiled. Fermented?
  3. If you were stuck on a stranded island, what 3 things would you want to have with you?
    This is a terrible question for me. I feel like I should give a smart answer with some sort of scientific explanation for justification but I also just want to say my laptop, Nutella and tea tree oil (for the spots that come after I eat the Nutella). 
  4. What scent of candles do you like the most?

    pretty much wine mom culture

    I like sweet and fruity smells. I also like ‘autumny’ smells like pumpkin and cinnamon. I have this candle that smells like wine a bit, which I kind of like too even though I don’t drink…
    Saying that kind of makes me feel like those mums who chill at home with jeans and a glass of red wine, or a whole bottle, in hand while lowkey drunk as their children are telling them to stop.

  5. If you could go to any place in the world, where would you go?
    Japan! I really want to go there. Or an exotic island like The Solomon Islands. 
  6. What’s one thing that you love about your blog?
    I like that it’s personalised to me: it has my favourite colours and the setup is how I like it. And also everything I post is what I want to post and what I want to see on my blog. Basically, I like that it’s very ‘me’.
  7. What is your favourite piece of clothing?
    My yellow raincoat. Or hats even though they make me break out. 
  8. What is your favourite flower?
    Lilies. 🌺
  9. Do you know what quokkas are? What are your opinions on them?
    I’m going to be honest here. I had to google it because I was curious but I actually know what they are, I just didn’t know they were called quokkas. I think they’re adorable and I just wanna give them a hug even though they’d probably try to fight me. I’ve been attacked by many animals before so I can smile through the pain.
  10. What is your mood right now?
    I feel happy, disappointed, calm and tense at the same time. That’s what the education system does to you. 🙂

 

My Nominees

Starr

Gracie

Wamby

Meg

Cee

lovxely

 

My Questions for the Nominees

  1. Do you prefer the day or the night? Basically early bird or night owl?
  2. Would you rather time travel back five years into the past and hang out with your younger self or time travel five years into the future and hang out with older you?
  3. Along the lines of time travel, what would you say to the child version of you?
  4. Do you like foxes because I have two baby ones living in my back garden right now?
  5. If you had to pick, crocs or uggs? Or croc-uggs? I hear those are in…
  6. What has been the best day of your life so far?
  7. Favourite superhero?
  8. One ‘tradition’ or routine you have to/like to do everyday? e.g. going on a jog (ew) or writing in a diary.
  9. Time period you would want to live in? e.g. the medieval time, hippie 70s, Jurassic era…
  10. Describe your blog in three words!

 

-Shay

A Very Blogger Christmas!

Firstly I want to give a VERY big thank you to ateenagediaryonline, who nominated me for this! 😀 She made this tag herself but was inspired a bit by Zoella’s vlog, A Very YouTube Christmas (which you should watch)! Go give her a follow! Right now! I’m waiting….

 

Rules:

  • Answer all the questions.
  • Change a question you don’t like
  • Nominate 5 people
  • Let them know you nominated them

 

Questions:

  • Who would take the best photos?
    The person, who would take the best photos would be DiaryOfATraveller! He takes the most amazing photos from all his travels! 😀 Or Theo. Photography. He’s AMZING!!!
  • Who would look the most glam?
    She hasn’t started anything on her blog yet but I know her in real life so I have to nominate dancer422 since she knows how to dress for an occasion like this. 🙂
  • Who would keep everybody awake and happy?
    I think Miss Book Thief would be the best at keeping everybody awake and happy. She’s just crazy and easy to talk to and I just feel like she would keep everybody full of joy! 🙂
  • Who would make the worst Christmas jokes?
    I have a feeling this would be me. I actually make the most TERRIBLE Christmas jokes, leaving everyone in an awkward silence or a giggle because it was so bad. XD For instance…what do you get when you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
  • Who would be the last one dancing?
    I have a feeling Arielle would be the last on dancing. She loves music and concerts and she’s awesomely crazy so why not?! 😉
  • Who would be in charge of Christmas music?
    Obviously Good Music Speaks!
  • Who would make the best snowman?
    I feel like Blackcat345 would make the best snowman…I’m  not sure why but hey, it’s a good thing! 🙂 I just have this feeling that she would make the best snowman…
  • Who is most likely to knock over the Christmas tree?
    I’m going to say TheAmbivert because 1)I wanted to put you down for one of these and 2)I can somehow see you doing that XD

 

Nominees:

Arielle

TheAmbivert

BlackCat345

Skyeastra

Meganqm1

 

Less than 10 hours until Christmas!!! Eeek!!

 

-Shay

#BGTB Week 2: Blogging Platforms

This week on Beginner’s Guide To Blogging, founded by ateenagediaryonline, the topic has been set to Blogging Platforms!

 

I am mainly going to focus on Blogger and of course, WordPress because they are the top two blog/website platforms.

 

However, considering I am a WordPress blogger, I am going to be talking about why you should choose WordPress over Blogger! However, bare in mind that Blogger is pretty good too and I’m not just trying to stop people from using Blogger!

 

  • For starters, Blogger is owned by Google. This means that Google can shut down Blogger, whenever they want (but I wouldn’t see why they would) , like they have done with many other of their little services, I guess you can call. XD
    Google can also take down your blog, if you are using Blogger!
    However, for WordPress, you have the freedom to run your blog as long as you want or when to shut it down. And, you can control it however you want.
  • Personally, I think that the WordPress themes and templates are a lot more professional than Blogger. They look a lot more sophisticated and clean. But that’s just my opinion!
  • Also, the future for WordPress is a lot more secure than Blogger. For instance, Google, as I said, has shut down many things before like Google Reader. Although, for WordPress, around 21% of the internet is made up of WordPress websites and blogs and a lot of big companies use it so it is pretty secure and bright for the future!

 

Those are just a few reasons why I think WordPress is better!

Sorry this was short! I didn’t really know what to say. XD

 

-Shay

Sunshine Blogger Award!

sunshine blogger award

I was nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by tmmusic32, whose blog I have come to really like. I highly recommend looking at her blog and following her! She also has a fab music taste. 😉

 

So what is the Sunshine Blogger Award?

This award is a creative way of getting bloggers to meet new blogs.

 

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Answer the question from your nominators on a post on your blog.
  3. Nominate eleven other blogs and give them eleven questions.

 

tmmusic32’s Questions:

  1. What are your favourite characteristics about yourself?
    My favourite characteristics about myself would have to be my sense of humour and probably my sarcasm because even though, sometimes, it can be annoying, it just amuses me. I also like the length of my hair now. So much easier to handle and it looks better, I hope.
  2. If you were allowed to bring 3 items on a deserted island, what would they be?
    I would bring a mirror or glasses for promoting a fire, strawberries because not only would they fill me up but they also will hydrate me. But strawberries wouldn’t count as one item…they would count as loads. If so, I would bring a whole watermelon. I would bring a tent, or some sort of shelter, too.
  3. Who is your favourite musical artist?
    Emily Kinney because I love her voice and she writes all her songs, I’m pretty sure.
  4. Favourite food?
    My favourite food is a hard question to answer. I don’t think I have one but I do love my chocolate and I love pizza so I’ll say that for now. 🙂
  5. Most embarrassing moment you’ve ever experienced?
    My most embarrassing moment is probably when our class had to do Drama as a lesson and the teacher made us re-enact scenes from Hamlet in front of one of the most judgmental classes in our year and she made me do two scenes! The first went pretty well but the second one, I jumbled the words up because the language used is Shakespeare’s writing is difficult to say. Because I was so embarrassed by how wrong I said all of it, I just stood there and the rest of the group were annoyed and kept telling me to carry on but I just stood there, awkwardly.  I cringe every time I remember that.
  6. If you could do one thing successfully, what would you do?
    Does life count? I would probably like to be able to do a flip on a skateboard because riding one is pretty easy. Learning tricks, however, is hard and I don’t think I’m quite there yet!
  7. How did you meet your best friend?
    I chose wrong friends at the beginning of my secondary school life. Well, one of them was a wrong pick. She was bossy and would talk about people behind their backs. There was this one girl, I’ve mentioned her before and I coded her Salmon, ( XD ) and she would go to all the girl groups in our class, trying to make friends with all of them. She eventually hung out with all of us so much that we all kind of joined together and became a group of nine. Then, Salmon left and we never heard of her again. I’m not kidding. And we became eight and then two other joined so we are ten now and I’m pretty sure we’re going to become eleven. I’m only really close with eight of them, though. I know that doesn’t really answer how did you meet your best friend but I’m really close with my friends so I’ll include them all. XD
  8. Do you ever want to get tattoos and pierces? If so where and of what?
    I don’t want to get any tattoos or anymore piercings (my ears are pierced already but I’m pretty sure they’ve healed). If I did get a tattoo, though, I have no idea what I would get it of. XD
  9. Have you ever been to a concert? If so who’s and was it good?
    Ummm….I’ve never been to a concert. I know…I’m a weirdo…
  10. If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do for the next 24 hours?
    I would go bungee jumping or scuba diving or something crazy and fun but I would also like to spend time with my whole family and all my friends!
  11. Why did you start blogging?
    I started blogging because I’d always wanted a journal, which I could write my thoughts in…my deep, dark thoughts and express things I love but I was too lazy for that and it took me a long while to ever think of writing it all on a blog and when I did, I felt so at peace with myself. Thoughts, worries and my passions could just become a part of this blog and it made me feel so free and fulfilled!

 

Blogger I Nominate:

mypersonalteenlife

The Disney Freak with a Bit of Mascara

teenagegrownup

BooksAndBookmarks

loonyliterature

The Sweet Review

ChitChat

thechroniclesofsomeone

Inspreal Comics

thatweirdbrowngirl

Good Music Speaks

 

Questions For My Nominees!

  1. What is something you’re not good at but love to do?
  2. Who is the most important person in your life?
  3. If you could stop one thing in the world, what would it be, e.g poverty, global warming, bullying, etc?
  4. What’s a moment, in your life, where you were the most terrified?
  5. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
  6. If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, on repeat, what would you pick?
  7. Sum up yourself in three words.
  8. What’s your favourite season and why?
  9. Dog or cat? Or none…?
  10. If you could have dinner with a celebrity, who would it be?
  11. What makes you smile?

 

I can’t wait to hear all your answers!

 

We were born to be real, not to be perfect.

-Shay