Pumpkin Carving!

It’s Halloween y’all, where all the scary children and cavities come out to play! To be honest, the real horror of this season is how much money I’ve spent on travelling to Uni.


Last year, I carved a pumpkin along with my sister for Halloween. Here’s a flashback:

boo. a flashback.

I made a post about it, where I stated that next year (which is this Halloween) “I’m gonna up  my game”. My exact words.

And let me tell you, I UPPED MY GODDAMN GAME!


my oogie boogie pumpkin

So this year, I wanted to do fiction themed pumpkins. I wandered around Google for a while, looking for different films I could base my pumpkin off of and finally, I chose The Nightmare Before Christmas and Alice in Wonderland. I chose two ideas because I had two pumpkins.

I decided my first pumpkin, which was the biggest, I would carve out Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas. My pumpkin was already rotting, which was something I was fairly unaware of. And was something I would later be very very VERY annoyed about. So the pumpkin was soft and easy to carve out, which was nice.

we’re all mad here.


I decided to do Alice and the Cheshire Cat with a little Alice in Wonderland quote for my small second pumpkin. This one was no where near rotting and still stands strong so it was very hard to carve out. Also, this one was a bit different because I wasn’t exactly carving it, I was chipping the outside layer. I thought it would be easier to chip than carve. I was very wrong. I ended up with a lot of bruises and cuts on my hands. But my pumpkin’s cute though…

I. cannot. even. begin. to. explain. how. difficult. this. was. to. carve. It took the around same length as The Nightmare Before Christmas film because my sister started watching it and I finished carving close to the end. It was lowkey worth it. It doesn’t shine very bright (like my future) but I’m still proud.

my sister’s pumpkin

My sister decided to do Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas to go with my pumpkin. She was initially going to do Pennywise but that was too hard. It didn’t really go well for her. First of all, I traced the outline with slippery pumpkin guts covered hands. Also, the pumpkin’s mouth kind of broke at one point so yeah….it wasn’t the best. Her pumpkin last year was way better but the Jack Skellington one is still good. I’ve seen some pretty trash ones on my road, not gonna lie, so hers should still stand strong.


look at how they spelt my name tf

I feel like I’ve been really Halloweeny and Auntumny this October. I went to watch It: Chapter 2 in cinemas with my two Uni friends. It was my first time watching a horror film in cinemas. Bring a change of underwear if you go. I also tried a pumpkin spice frappucino for the first time. Loads of people (basic girls) drink pumpkin spice lattes and I wanted to see what all the hype was about so I actually went to try the Frappuccino version and it was really nice. It was sweet, which I like. I’ve had it twice now. I’m not turning into a basic, I promise. This October, I also walked in the rain, without a raincoat. I just walked and walked for ages, soaking in water. As much as I was cold, it was somewhat enjoyable. So yeah, if you saw a crazy girl walking in the pouring rain, looking up the sky like they’re talking to God, it’s probably me.

I’m probably going to spend the rest of the evening/night drinking hot chocolate and watching a horror film.


What are you doing this Halloween? Have you carved pumpkins?



My Favourite Non-Horror Films For Halloween!

I recently posted about different horror films, that I liked, which I suggested watching for Halloween (or any old day you want to poop yourself) but what about the people, who don’t want to be scared on Halloween? So I’m back with a non-scary list of films but still quite spooky.

They’re all animated movies. I don’t know a lot about animation but I do like watching them so here’s a few of my favourites.


Monster House

Monster House is a film, set around Halloween, where three kids, two thirsty boys and a smart ginger girl, try and find the mystery revolving around an old man, who was rumoured to have eaten his wife, and his house. The only thing is, the house comes alive and attacks and steals from children. The old man ends up going to hospital, which leaves the whole house alone but vulnerable. The three kids end up venturing inside and exploring the horrors and secrets within the house.

I actually really like Monster House. It has a lot of puberty jokes, it’s funny and I like the animation. It’s kind of realistic but not like The Polar Express realistic. Despite it being a ‘scary’ film for kids, it has a warm cosy feeling to it.

The characters are loveable, including ones you begin despising. The characters are all very different, with different dynamics between them. It has an interesting storyline, backstories and ending too. I think it’s pretty underrated too. Give it a go!



Paranorman is about a young boy, who can see and speak to the dead. He has to stop this witch’s curse after a bunch of zombies arise from the dead and overrun the town.

I’m not gonna lie, this is a weird one. I, personally, like it because of how quirky and how spooky the animation is. The storyline is a bit more complex than Monster House. I think you have to pay attention to it a bit more but it makes it just that bit more interesting. The characters are very well detailed.

However, as much as I liked it, I can see it being a film you need to acquire a taste for. If you’re into The Sixth Sense, zombies and/or Tim Burton-y films, this one should fit your fancy.



Coraline follows a young stubborn curious girl who finds a strange small door in her new house. Intrigued, she manages to open it to find nothing but a brick wall. But later, at night, after following a mouse, she finds the door leading into a tunnel that goes to an almost exact copy of her own house, except much happier, brighter and with altered yet ‘better’ versions of her parents and neighbours. However, evil lurks on the other side of the door, which she soon finds out and has to beat.


I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Coraline! It’s probably my favourite from this list. Everything was amazing; the music (which are actually sung in gibberish), the voice actors, the personalities and appearance of the characters, the storyline, the ending, the animation style, the lines and quotes they say, was spot on. It’s the perfect film for Halloween too. Although I do not, I know that some people do find it quite scary. It is a creepy and spooky film but it’s manageable and very creative.

Go watch it. Now.



Frankenweenie is about a boy named Victor (after Victor Frankenstein), who owns and loves his dog to bits. Until it dies… Filled with grief, Victor, reassembles his dead dog’s body parts and resurrects him in an experiment (he’s a smart boy). His dog comes back alive but his classmates find out about his experiment and try to resurrect other dead animals, which has disastrous effects.

I watched this film right after my old cat died so I have mixed emotions about it. I like it for how spooky it is. I also like the original story of Frankenstein because I like gothic literature so it was already something I knew I’d like. It’s entirely in black and white, which gives this perception of it being old, just like the original Frankenstein story. The characters are very very unique and quirky.

If you’re into Tim Burton style films or you like the original Frankenstein, I think you would like this.



Coco follows a young aspiring musician, Miguel, who lives amongst a family that ban music. He isn’t sure why they hate music so much but all he knows is he loves it and dreams of becoming like his role model, who is a famous accomplished musician. Miguel ends up in the Land of the Dead, where all the dead people go after they…well die. He makes friends with this dead man and they go on a journey to find out why his family has banned music. However, Miguel’s time is limited in the Land of the Dead.

Coco is an adorable, warm, amazing film. It’s a Disney film so what do you expect. It’s colourful, bright, full of Mexican culture (I don’t actually know a lot about Mexican culture so I don’t know how accurate Coco is) and a genuinely good film. The characters, relationships and dynamics are in depth. The storyline is great and well thought out. There’s unpredictable twists and turns in the film and it’s not scary (it’s Disney so again, what do you expect ). There’s also singing involved.

If you love Disney (who doesn’t?) and colourful and bright animations, watch this!


Corpse Bride

The Corpse Bride involves a man named Victor (like in Frankenweenie), who gets dragged into the Land of the Dead (but looks nothing like the one in Coco) by a murdered bride. The murdered bride, who is the corpse bride, wants to marry Victor, who already has an arranged marriage set up in the normal world. His arranged marriage wife, Victoria, ends up being rearranged to marry this other evil man so Victor has to decide who he’s going to marry – the corpse bride or his arranged wife… (first place to me for worst explanation of a film ever!)

This film is very gothic, spooky, dark and morbid. It’s has a depressing vibe throughout the whole film but I lowkey love it. The characters are very distinct and unique. The ending is really good, with a twist, which I didn’t think was predictable but maybe it was. That being said, it’s not a film for everyone. Like marmite, you either like it or you don’t.

Again, if you like Tim Burton style films and dark vibes, this would be a good one for you.


The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Nightmare Before Christmas focuses on Halloweentown’s pumpkin king, Jack Skellington, who accidentally finds the door to Christmastown. He explores how different, warm and bright Christmastown is compared to the scary, gruesome Halloweentown and decides he wants to take over Christmas since he’s bored with the same Halloween routine. He kidnaps Santa Claus and dresses up as him, taking control of his role. But it doesn’t all go to plan.

This is another film that I think you need to have an acquire taste for but no matter who you are, you should still give it a try. It’s definitely a spooky, quirky film, with kooky and crazy looking characters, all which are very strange and interesting. The characters also all have interesting backstories, you can figure out while watching the film for example how they died to end up in Halloweentown. Unfortunately, it has a pretty predictable ending.

Also, there are theories that The Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride and Frankweenie are all linked together so you could try and spot clues and evidence for that theory.

It’s debatable whether this is a Halloween or Christmas film but I think it might be a little bit too spooky and dark for a Christmas film. Maybe it’s the perfect transition film between Halloween and Christmas.


So those are some of my favourite spooky but not scary Halloween films!

Comment down your favourites or any suggestions.



My Favourite Horror Films for Halloween!

It’s Spooky Season, guys, which means PREPARE. TO. POOP. YOURSELF!

Since Halloween is fast approaching, I thought it would be the perfect time to suggest some of my favourite horror films ever, which you can immerse yourself into this week. I’ve been told I have a great taste in films so I hope I am able to prove that today…


It & It Chapter Two

It follows a group of loser kids (literally, they’re called the Losers’ Club) encountering and trying to defeat this demonic dancing clown, Pennywise, who eats children and projects each child’s worst fear. Sounds horrible, I know.

When I first watched It, I didn’t really like it since I thought it was very creepy and it sort of made me feel uncomfortable, especially having in mind what the actual book by Stephen King is like (it’s very sexual). However, after watching the second film and then re-watching the first, I have grown an appreciation towards both the films. The films have very 3D, interesting, unique characters, all with their own issues and struggles and I think the dynamic between each character is very in depth, which is explored more in the second film. The character development is also very good. The casting of the adult actors to represent the kid versions of the characters was spot on – they look the same! The storyline is pretty generic for a horror film – some form of malicious creature enters and a group of usually young people have to try and stop it – but I liked how Pennywise reflects on each of the kids’ phobias, which makes it a tad bit more unique and scarier. I think the second film was actually better than the first but I may be bias since it was the first horror movie ever that made me genuinely connected and attached to the characters and made me cry. However, it’s not a very scary film, in my opinion (my friend who held onto my arm most of It 2 would disagree).

If you’re into Stranger Things, Super 8, and films like that, It is a good pick for you!


Insidious & Insidious Chapter Two

Insidious and Insidious Chapter Two is basically one big film since you have to watch the second one right after the first. YOU JUST HAVE TO, OKAY?!

Insidious is basically about a family, who move into a new house that they come to believe is haunted. One of the young sons falls into a coma but appears to be possessed by some demon. However, there’s much more to the story than just that, which the parents, along with some psychic woman, come to realise and investigate.

Insidious is a very unique horror film, starting off as a usual horror film but trailing off into something unpredictable and very intriguing. It incorporates concepts like time, the astral plane and demons (of course), which brings you to the edge of your seat and not just because you’re scared. I think Insidious is scary, from what I remember, as it has quite a few jumpscares, but it really makes you think too.

This is probably in my top three horror films because of how unique I think it is. It’s hard to compare it to another film like it but if you’re into strange concepts like dreams and the astral plane as well as ghosts and demons, this is for you.


Incident in a Ghost Land

Incident in a Ghost Land seems like one of those small, low budget, crappy horror films at first but boy are you in for a rollercoaster.

A mum and her two daughters move into a house, they inherited, literally in the middle of nowhere. During the first day of moving, there’s a break in, where they are assaulted but seem to overcome and escape the situation. The film then jumps to years and years later where one of the daughters, who was really into horror writing, is a famous published author, retelling the events that happened when they first moved into that house. However, not everything is as it seems.

This film is one heck of a psychological horror film. It has so many twists and is very unpredictable. It’s rare to find a horror film like this, especially with how well they executed it. At times, it is a little creepy and uncomfortable, but to be honest, it only adds to the intensity and thrill. The whole film, beginning to end, is amazing. It’s a shame that not many people have seen this, let alone even heard of it, because it is a really good film. Highly recommend!


The Sixth Sense

Oooh this is a classic one. But because it is such a classic, I feel like everyone knows how this film pans out even if you haven’t seen it.

The Sixth Sense follows a psychologist (Bruce Willis) trying to help a young boy, who can see dead people. No one, of course, believes the young boy, which is why the psychologist is there to figure out how to treat him. Over time, the psychologist realises the little boy is telling the truth. And some other things too… (I know, I’m great at explaining)

This film, as you may or may not know, has a big twist at the end, which makes you want to watch the whole film again. I watched this one when I was very young so the twist was very unpredictable to me but as an adult, (ew I’m an adult now) I’m not sure if it is unpredictable or not. Anyway, I’ve said too much.

Give this one a go if you’re into big twists or you’ve liked films like The Others.


The Conjuring Universe

The Conjuring Universe consists of:

  1. The Conjuring
  2. Annabelle
  3. The Conjuring 2
  4. Annabelle: Creation
  5. The Nun
  6. The Curse of La Llorona
  7. Annabelle Comes Home
  8. The Conjuring 3 (out in 2020)
  9. The Crooked Man (hasn’t come out yet)
  10. A second The Nun film (hasn’t come out yet)

Although you don’t really need to watch in order (you can actually watch them in chronological order based on the timeline in the story) or you don’t really need to watch all of them, it’s fun to delve into every film and piece all the references and Easter eggs together. There are very very few horror films that scare me but The Conjuring Universe can definitely make me scream. It’s even scarier to think that it’s all based on true stories.

If you actually want to be scared this Halloween, I would suggest one of these.


Horror that Plays with your Senses

I’ve become a big fan of films that play with your senses such as:

  • A Quiet Place (the characters live in a world where these monsters are attracted to sounds so they can’t speak)
  • Hush (a deaf woman is harassed and attacked by a killer)
  • Birdbox (the characters commit suicide if they look at these creatures out in the world so they basically have to cover their eyes most of the time)
  • Don’t Breathe (a few people break into a blind veteran’s house but find that he is CRAAAZY so they have to be super quiet)

The great thing about these types of films is that it makes you think and consider situations without one of your senses, which is actually quite scary. All the films I listed above are very different from each other but are all very good. A Quiet Place is very well done, from the casting to the storyline, it doesn’t disappoint. Hush is an interesting one but a little predictable. Birdbox is very different but also quite predictable. I also don’t think Birdbox is that scary. Don’t Breathe is a really intense one and had me on the edge of my seat. It’s pretty scary and I think it’s unpredictable due to the ending.



Split is about a man, with dissociative identity disorder (or multiple personality disorder), who kidnaps three teenage girls. His persoanlity alters a lot, from a serious man with OCD to a young boy named Hedwig, there are many different identities that are contained within him and are explored. This film is very deep. It explores what dissociative identity disorder is, which I think was so interesting. I’ve never really watched a film that explores the disorder like that. James McAvoy, who plays the main character, did an amazing job. Good on him.

This film, I think, is a hit or miss for people. I know lots of people who really liked this film and some who didn’t. I, personally, think it’s a really good film. The acting is amazing, the storyline, concepts and themes are amazing. The ending is great too because it leads into the film, Glass (I haven’t seen it yet but I’m sure it’s even better).


Cabin in the Woods

This film require some patience and a sense of humour. It starts off as the most convential, generic horror film ever, with a group of young adults staying in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, doing stupid things that you shouldn’t do in horror films like going out into the woods in the middle of the night. This can be very annoying to

begin with but as you keep watching the film, you begin to realise why the filmmakers wanted it to be conventional because let me tell you, the ending is definitely not conventional. It’s almost funny. I loved this film for its ending. It may seem silly but I think it’s quite clever.

If you’ve watched many horror films, particularly the classics like Scream, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, etc, this is a good one for you to watch. I can’t say why because it will spoil it but just as a little hint, it kind of makes fun of convential horror films. BUT it’s nothing like the Scary Movie franchise, where it deliberately points out specific films and makes fun of them. It’s not that scary either.

And…if none of what I said can make you watch Cabin in the Woods, Chris Hemsworth is in it.


I hope you add any of these to your ‘Must Watch’ lists, whether or not you celebrate Halloween.

I’ll be back soon with a spooky but not scary list of films you can watch this Halloween.


Have you seen any of these films already? Please reccomend me any of your own horror films you think I would like.



My First Valentine’s!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or Galentine’s, or Palentine’s, whatever you like to call it. I’m all inclusive.

This Valentine’s Day was my first Valentine’s Day not because I was born less than a year ago like “Baby’s First Birthday” but because this is the first year I’ve been in a proper exclusive relationship. I’m really happy and content and since it’s the perfect day to celebrate it, I thought I’d share and articulate my feelings and emotions about them and my experience of being in a relationship.


I met you in a coffee shop. Cheesy and old school, I know, but I guess life just happens. I wasn’t looking for a commitment, and to be honest, I wouldn’t normally go for someone like you but I gave it a go.

Fortunately for me, you turned out to be quirky and vibrant, but sweet, soft and warm on the inside. And I love the way you smell. I love your rosy complexion and creamy white quiff and your curves and how cute you look as you just sit quietly. I can sit with you all night, wondering about the possibilities of the Universe, our future lives, things to put on our bucket lists, how weird it is we pretend to be asleep to fall asleep. You know, the usual.

But I know our relationship has an expiration date. My parents keep telling me you’re not good for me but you make me feel better when I’m stressed and depressed. I get excited knowing I’ll get to see you at the end of the hard days. We’re unconventional and untraditional but come on, it’s 2019! We can be free with our feelings. Who cares what people think? People can date whoever they want!

You make me feel really good. Especially inside me. 

You were really yummy, my little Red Velvet Muffin. ❤️



Planet Shay’s Fourth Anniversary!

Planet Shay Just Turned Four!!


This time in 2015, Planet Shay was created.

It was a boring January evening. My mum and sister sat in the living room watching TV and I was on the family computer, bored. January was always an awful month, to me. Miserable weather, nothing excited to look forward to, Christmas was so far away. With that in mind, I decided to create a blog. A thoughts blog where I could just talk about anything I wanted to and help other people out with problems, etc. I was already familiar with WordPress so it wasn’t difficult getting started. And Planet Shay was born.


Geekaline was born.

Cringe factor 100% I know!

The idea was combining the word ‘Geek’ (because I was into ‘geeky’ things and a few people called me that so why not just embrace it?) and ‘Coraline’ (because I loved Coraline).


My first few posts, apart from the introduction, were my new year resolutions, a post about siblings, and phobias. All those years ago, I wasn’t as knowledgeable as I am now, obviously, since we learn as we age, so many of my posts were a load of BS and some very negative and ‘ranty’ because I wasn’t in a good place and was always very sad and gloomy. But after four years, I’m happy with this blog. I feel like I’ve talked about topics and issues I’m passionate about and I feel like it has a much more positive atmosphere. I have also learnt a lot from it and from doing it.


I can’t believe it’s been four years! FOUR! And four is my lucky number so maybe a bit more luck this year and with my posts? XD


Thank you everyone who reads, likes and comments on my posts. It really does motivate me to carry on blogging! I know I haven’t been active lately and I haven’t been really good with catching up on other bloggers’ posts but I am very thankful for you, yes you, reading! 😀


Here’s to another year! 🥂



Hellooo 2019!

We are finally in the New Year!! Whoop whoop!

Although in my last, very depressing post, I mentioned that 2018 wasn’t a great year, I realised a lot of good and exciting things happened. For one, I got a little kitten, Willow, who is my pride and joy. I turned 18 (still a little bitter about it 😂 ) and my friends turned 18. I made really close new friends and formed new relationships!

And it all got me thinking about the exciting things to come in 2019! So, today I’m going to be listing some things I’m excited for in this new year.

Last Months at My School

I’ve been at my current secondary school for about seven years. That’s more than a third of my life. And now, I only have about six months left of being there. I’m not looking forward to leaving but I’m looking forward to the last moments with the people I grew up with and the place I call a second home.

Prom 2019

I am really really looking forward to my sixth form prom! It’ll probably be the last time my year comes together and I can’t wait for the parties after. 😂

Freedom in Summer

If any of you did GCSEs, you know the summer between the end of your actual GCSE exams and beginning of sixth form is like heaven. You can literally do anything without feeling guilt for not revising, etc, because there is nothing to revise for and absolutely no school work to do. It’s going to the be the same thing between the end of A Level exams and the beginning of University! Maybe not as heaven like because I have to prepare to go to Uni but still!

A Levels and Uni

Everything I’ve been working forward to since year seven will be coming to completion soon (fingers crossed though, I might still fail). I cannot wait to finish A Levels. It’s tiring and emotionally draining and yeah, I love my subjects, but I also need a damn break. I also can’t wait to go to University and study biochemistry!

Moving Out

I’m hopefully going to live in student accommodation while studying at University. Even if it is just for my first year (depends what one I get into). I can’t wait for the new experience of living with totally new and different people and the experience of struggling financially. 🙂 Most of all, I can’t wait for the freedom.

Keeping in Touch with Friends

Funnily enough, I’m looking forward to seeing what friends I actually stay in contact with. I know a few I definitely will still talk to but there are some, who I’m a bit sceptical about, and I’m interested in seeing how things pan out.

Climbing up the O2

For my 18th birthday, I was given a voucher/ticket to climb the O2 arena. I’m taking my best friend with me and I’m just really looking forward to almost dying. 😀

The 02 Arena

New Year Resolutions

I’m actually kind of excited about doing my new year resolutions. I barely did any of the ones I set last year because I overestimated the time I had but I made achievable ones this year, taking everything I’m doing this year and the time I have into consideration. So here they are:

  • Stretch daily (I want to be flexible)
  • Own a plant and look after it (apparently it helps your mental health…I didn’t read much into it 😂 )
  • Find a new hobby (a few years ago I was looking for a new hobby and decided to do dream journaling and I love it so I’m open to another new hobby I wouldn’t normally think of doing)
  • Learn a new skill (possibly an instrument…like piano cause I used to be able to play it)
  • Stay optimistic (wrote this for my 2017 resolutions and 2017 turned out to be the best year of my life)
  • Be more spontaneous and confident, don’t hesitate (I’m pretty spontaneous as it is but there are times where I remain in my comfort zone when I know I shouldn’t)

Looking forward to what 2019 holds! What did you do for New Year’s Eve?

ᴵ ᵍᵒᵗ ᵃᵖᵖˡᵉ ʲᵘᶦᶜᵉ ᵈʳᵘⁿᵏ


What 2018 Taught Me!

2018 hasn’t been the best year but I remain optimistic and continue to believe everything happens for a reason so with that, I want to dedicate this post, the last post of 2018 on my blog, about what I’ve learnt.


Over the course of this year, I’ve been experiencing weird symptoms. Years ago, typical and well known symptoms of depression I experienced included lethargy, eating a lot more and irregularly, loss of interest in hobbies, minor memory loss, etc. Although it was a horrible period in my life and I wouldn’t want to go through any of that again nor would I want anyone to go through any of that, it was more comforting to know that those were ‘normal’ and common for someone who is depressed. More comforting that what I experienced this year, anyway. There were two major new symptoms:

  1. Personality Crisis
  2. Depersonalisation

The personality crisis situation was the worst one. It began at the end of Spring/beginning of Summer. I started to feel not like myself and I didn’t even know what ‘myself’ was. I didn’t know how to respond or behave in situations because I didn’t know how I would respond. You know how actors have to try and put themselves in the shoes of their characters so they know how to behave like them – that’s how I felt. I felt like I was trying to put myself in the shoes of myself. It felt like I was getting to know a whole different person. What made it worse was people were catching onto this. I got called ‘dead’, which means boring. And boring is one of the top things I never want to be. I would literally prefer someone to call me ugly, annoying and dumb (tell me something I don’t know 😜 ) over boring so as you can imagine, it really hurt. But because other people started to notice my ‘new’ personality, I conformed to it. I kept asking people what they would describe me as, I even did personality quizzes to see what my personality was because I didn’t even know. That’s the extent it got to.

But I learnt that, like what straight adults say to bisexual teenagers, it’s just a phase. It goes away and you have to remain strong. Don’t give in to what people tell you, that’s the worst thing you can do. I learnt to ‘connect’ back with myself and stay in tune with my own emotions and thoughts not others. You might suffer with personality crisis more or less than I did but you have to remain strong and try to talk to someone and help yourself. YOU CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING!


Depersonalisation is ‘a state in which one’s thoughts and feelings seem unreal or not to belong to oneself.’

Real life doesn’t feel real, basically. The first time I came across this term was when my cousin told me she had it. I had never heard of it before but it sounded unreal and crazy. She had it bad, too. I began experiencing mild doses of it every now and again, just for a minute. It felt like my mind was on a rocking boat on the ocean and reality wasn’t straight. My mind felt out of my head but surrounding my body and it felt like I was in a dream. I almost felt trapped and stuck. I was surprised that I was experiencing it since I never thought I would go through it when my cousin told me about it. I’m almost 100% sure I didn’t have the disorder, I just had experiences of depersonalisation. 

What made it worse is I lucid dream so sometimes real life would feel like I was just in a lucid dream. The small periods of time I would feel this way began to stretch into days and weeks. I’m pretty sure it’s positively correlational with the amount of stress I was experiencing because now that I’m not as stressed, I don’t feel out of my body or in a dream. I do have a really embarrassing story, that happened recently that links in with this but that’s for another day. 😄

This also linked in with the personality problems because, since I felt so out of it, I didn’t know how to respond to situations anymore.

Honestly, I don’t know what I learnt from experiencing depersonalisation (apart from what it is) but it made my year poop and also, it’s a good way to educate people about it since I had no idea what it was. And if you, yourself, are experiencing it, you’re not crazy or weird and you can get through it! Seek help, talk to someone, manage your stress, etc.


I learnt a lot about friendship over this year. In life, you make close friends and even though you love them, you may end up distancing. By all means, if you want to, reconnect and build back that bond. But…sometimes you’ve got to let it go. I don’t even like Frozen that much but that ice chic is a smart chic. Let it go. You may damage your relationship and mental health if you keep trying to reconnect. Let the past be in the past. Don’t cut them out, unless they’re a negative person, but just let nature do it’s thing. New friends will come along the way. Probably. 😄


In terms of school, be persistent. The amount of teachers, this year, who didn’t have as much hope in me as I would have wanted them to was heart breaking. I’ve talked about not conforming to what people say plenty of times and proving people wrong but it’s become such a problem. Believe in yourself and work hard! It’s fun when teachers realise you’re smarter than they thought. And don’t be afraid to be a little confrontational. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to apply to Universities I wanted, this year. 😂


There’s a lot of other little personal things I learnt, which aren’t lessons you can take away. I learnt on my duke of Edinburgh award expedition that I’m physically and mentally stronger that I thought. I learnt I have really high highs and really low lows ad there’s never really an in between. I’ve finally figured out my style – basically bright colours and quirky little things like rainbow holographic hoop earrings and colourful, pattern trousers. I also learnt my hair grows really freaking fast. This time last year I  had Lord Farquaad Dora The Explorer Edna Mode hair but now my hair is almost down to my elbow.


Most importantly, I’ve learnt to have faith in the Universe. I know, it sounds like some cheesy quote that should be stitched on a cushion in a gift shop but I’ve just learnt to let life happen and stop forcing and controlling things and situations so that others and I can be happy. It doesn’t really work that way. You might not believe in this but I genuinely believe everything happens for a reason.


Oh, and one last thing. I learnt to not go overboard on the new years resolutions – you’re not gonna complete them! 😬


I feel like this was a very deep and cheesy post but who cares!?

What did you learn this year?



This Is Halloween!

Happy All Hollows’ Eve!


On Sunday, me and my sister trekked over to the supermarket and bough some pumpkins, to carve. We’ve never carved pumpkins before, for Halloween, so I felt this would be the perfect year to save the childhood, that is slowly coming to an end. 😦

Also those pumpkins are HEAVY and I lack the upper body strength most people have. And my sister is selfish so I carried it all the way home. First world problems. 🙌


Anyways, several people have told me how hard it is carving pumpkins so I stuck to an easy design because I underrated myself, which I shouldn’t because I did one whole year of Art GCSEs. Only one year because I dropped because I was at a grade D….but still. Every little helps.

It turned out that I’m not that bad at carving pumpkins. I broke a knife, which I had to hide from my mum and I almost stabbed myself but it turned out pretty great!

Lilith, my pumpkin.

I went for a cute little happy face vampire pumpkin head. I also gave her eyelashes because she’s a Bad B and she probably coats her eyelashes with Vaseline every night – that’s why they’re so long.

My sister decided to go for a cat face, which I helped her with. She, however, accidentally, carved off one of the teeth so that’s why it only has three.

I’m not going to lie, I was really proud of myself and although

My sisters pumpkin.

Lilith (my pumpkin, but her friends call her Pumpkin Spice Queen) will rot after a while, she will live on in my heart. In all our hearts.


My sister’s one, on the other hand, is already rotting on the inside. It’s disgusting.


Next year, I’m gonna up my game.


Along the lines of Halloween, I have a little horror story to tell. It was a grey, miserable morning when I was told I had a biology ‘pre-mock’.  I revised for about two months, shedding blood, sweat and tears. A lot of tears. No but seriously, I need help. That gloomy biology exam Wednesday finally approached and I walked into the exam, hands shaking, heart pounding. JK I wasn’t actually scared. I was ten minutes late (not my fault) and came out of the exam depressed because I knew I did badly. Turns out, I got a B. And only three marks away from an A, which is a big improvement from my E’s in year 12. Anyways, a few days later, I go into my biology lesson, felling happy that I’m no longer considered stupid in the education system and my biology teacher announces the grade boundaries have gone up. My B, almost an A, is now a C. Whatever. I’m not bitter.

i’M nOT BiTteR!


Another scary story is The Haunting of Hill House. It’s a show on Netflix, which is about a family of seven, who move into a mansion and the aftermath of it, many years later. My friend kept persuading me and I finally started watching it with her and it’s honestly and truly such a good and well thought out show. I highly recommend it.


And on the lines of TV Shows, I’m gonna share my favourite Halloween-y but not really horrific films and TV shows:

  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Monster House
  • Paranorman
  • Stranger Things
  • Frankenweenie
  • Coraline
  • American Horror Story
  • Coco
  • Super 8
  • Corpse’s Bride
  • Casper
  • E.T.
  • Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the OG one)
  • Charmed
  • Harry Potter (all of them)


Okay, that’s the end of my Halloween post!

Did you do anything for Halloween? Did you carve a pumpkin and if yes, was it as good as mine though?



She’s A Lady!


It was my eighteenth birthday yesterday. A day I wasn’t really looking forward to.


My helium balloon!

First of all, I had four tests (in the week) to prepare for, which is also the reason I’ve been MIA, and the stress of it all, although I don’t show it, was getting to me. However, that being said, I had the best day! Since it was a school day, I got a lot of ‘Happy Birthday’s and messages and birthday snapchat stories because that’s how our generation show love. And my friends made it such a great day.


But, as I promised from a previous post, I’m going to explain why I didn’t want to turn eighteen.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying any of the following is relatable and about all adults, I just felt like me, being eighteen, means I’m more prone to these things.


First of all, being an adult tends to be associated with maturity and responsibility. I, on the other hand, am a very weird, energetic person in real life. I do weird crazy things. Being an adult means I can no longer blame that behaviour on the fact I am a child. This is sad news. I still have the face of a twelve year old, though, so I might pass as a child.


Making friends is easier when you’re a child because you’re in school practically everyday. I still have another year in school but still! I have university either next year or the year after and although there will be people there to talk to, I feel like it might be harder to make friends. I am a social person and will take initiative in situations like that but it’s still daunting.


I used to get stuff for free. NOW I HAVE TO PAY. For example, I have to pay for eye care, dental care and probably a bunch of other stuff I don’t know about. That’s actually a little bit of a lie because I still get eye and dental care for free since I’m in full time education but my point is, being eighteen means I have to pay for stuff. My parents are making me pay for my phone bill. ☹ I do like to be in control, though, so maybe it’s a good thing.


I hate the idea of being grown up. I don’t want to grow up. This ties in with the acting weird point because I don’t want to be completely mature and ‘normal’. I also don’t want to worry constantly and get so involved in money issues.


I have to make big decisions and there’s not much leeway for my indecisive ways, right now. I can’t just change my mind tomorrow and decide I want to be an astronaut, like you can do when you’re a child. I know that it’s never too late to do what you want (unless you’re on the brink of death, then I’m so sorry) but the way society works and the school system works, I feel pressured to make sure my whole life plan starts now and isn’t a failure.


I can go to prison for a criminal offence. This one’s going to be really difficult for me. 😬

Despite all of the negativity that’s been most of this post (sorry), I wanted to add a little bit of positivity because on the majority of occasions, I try my hardest to look on the bright side of things. 😄

  • I can finally vote, which is important to me because I like to make my own decisions and have my say on things.
  • I can serve jury duty, which is always fun, amirite?!
  • I can get a tattoo. I actually want to get one of a semi colon!
  • Ya girl gets paid more! A whole two pounds more. 💸
  • I can make a will, which, again, is always fun!
  • I can buy fireworks.

The vegan Baileys ft. Willow, my cat

I can do a lot more important things but those are my top six.



Also, big announcement! I had my first legal alcoholic drink. It was dairy free almond milk Baileys. Dairy free because one of my best friends, who gave it to me, is vegan and is clearly respectful to the acne prone antichrist that is my skin. She also made me a vegan cake.


To end on a high note, eighteen isn’t that bad. AgE iS JuSt a NuMBeR…



Mean Girls Day!

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

And if I was there, I would have said Mean Girls Day, uncultured swine!


And trust me, I wore pink today.


It’s Mean Girls Day! Why? October the 3rd was the day Aaron asked Cady what the date was. And you know what she said? She said October 3rd.

Now, if you haven’t watched Mean Girls, firstly I want to correct you before you say “it’s just a movie, don’t be so dramatic”. It’s not just a movie. It’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle that chose me. Specifically, one evening when I was about ten, with my parents, and I wanted to choke on soil when the coach said to not have sex because then you will get pregnant and die. And I never got ‘the talk’ so I guess, better Coach Carr than no one.


But besides my strange childhood that made me the way I am now (i’m okay), I wanted to share my top favourite iconic Mean Girls quotes:


“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”


“If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”


I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”

“She doesn’t even go here.”


“I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and wide set vagina.”


“That is so fetch.”


“I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him.”


“I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.”


“Ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that’s just like the rules of feminism.”

“You can’t sit with us.”


“You go Glen Coco!”


And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”


And two extra bonus ones because I think they’re important and everyone should live by:

“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” – Cady Heron

There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Janis Ian


Hope you had a happy hump day!