Who Came Up With The Idea…?

I went out the other day with my dad and sister and we went to this really cute waffle place for lunch. My dad had ordered a breakfast waffle, despite the time of day, and I sat in my seat, daydreaming off into space, as I do, and once I had been brought back to reality, I found myself staring at an egg. Just an egg frying.

And I wondered. Who decided it would be a good idea to get this white oval thing, that came out of a chicken’s butt, crack it and eat it?

So I did my research and realised that back in the day, humans used to hunt for their food and tasted everything that didn’t smell disgusting or dangerous. And the discovery that eggs were edible probably emerged very early on in the timeline of human existence. As well as this, other mammals ate eggs too (and of course, still do).

BUT!

It got me thinking about the other origin of ideas that seem very strange or very smart and so I’m going to compile a list of them without doing any research on it (for now):

 

Initially Strange Ideas:

  • The initial idea to pull crackers on Christmas (I know there’s usually a little note with info on it but I honestly forgot what it says.)
  • The decision to keep and look after animals in your own house
  • First suggestion to make a wish on a shooting star
  • First person to burn leaves and smoke it
  • The decision to use fungus to make alcoholic drinks from grains and fruits
  • The beginning of the myth the moon is made of cheese
  • The decision to use paper as an exchange for items and products
  • The idea that ribbed flared trousers look good XD
  • The realisation of death (I know this sounds stupid but I mean like realising they’re not asleep, etc. Makes sense in my head.)
  • The concept that ties make you look sophisticated
  • The initial idea that an extremely skinny waist is attractive and desired
  • Crocs
  • The idea that dark colours are ‘depressing’
  • The idea that white symbolizes ‘purity’ and ‘innocence’
  • The idea of phones and communication via satellites (I feel like I’ve already learnt this at school…)
  • Idea of slime
  • The idea that black skin and darker skins, generally, were inferior to light skin even though continents like Africa had more resources
  • The idea women were inferior to men even though women literally shoot out other humans
  • Beginning of modern oral languages
  • The first ever religion
  • First idea to shave hair off our bodies
  • My sister says: Idea of the shape of a love heart (I actually know this one but thought it might be something other people might question)
  • Who came up with the actual concept of time
  • The initial idea of memes and the first ever meme
  • First person to decide/create ‘bad/forbidden words’
  • The initial idea of the tooth fairy

Feel free to answer any of them, even if some of them are obvious and just me being stupid. XD

Also, comment your own initially strange ideas like the eating eggs one and I could make a part two.

 

-Shay

I Am Disgusting!

I AM DISGUSTING.

I want to announce that. With trumpets and a red carpet rolling out onto the ground for me to walk on, to a stage and to shout that I am disgusting. You know why?

 

Every month, this red fluid oozes out of my kitty cat meow meow. Just oozes out me like nobody’s business and it’s like Saw 3 all up in the shower. It’s like that scene from Carrie.

 

And I shit. And so do you. We all shit. The Queen shits. The Kardashians shit. We’re like shitholes.

And pee too. We piss all over the place like dogs and men. I mean…really, we pee in swimming pools. You’ve probably downed a litre of pee.

 

We have snot and saliva and sweat.

And speaking of liquids beginning with S, I once sprayed my dentist with spit. It just sprayed out my mouth, I couldn’t help it. Just happened. (TBH she deserved it.)

And again about sweat, we sweat like pigs. I don’t even know how much pigs sweat, I’m assuming a lot because of the saying ‘sweating like a pig’ but boy, it could probably cure the world’s drought epidemic.

 

Oh god and we burp. It’s like our thing. Lions roar, dogs bark, elephants trumpet. And us? We belch out trapped air like a demonic mating call.

 

Plus, I get acne. We get acne.

And our fingers poke and prod at these inflamed, explosive bombs. I’ve seen things I can’t unsee.

 

And here’s the cherry on top.

Wait for it…

 

Hold on… just wait for it.

 

Women. Fart. Too.

Whhhhaaaa?

No…really. We do.

We’re disgusting. Human beings are disgusting. We’re flatulence, liquid leaking, crazy machines.

But who cares?

 

We’re human.

 

-Shay

Pokémon Go!

Hello my name is Shay.

July 2016, I was diagnosed with an additction to Pokémon Go. I’ve been suffering ever since and it’s been a hard journey. I know 😥

 

Honestly though, I wouldn’t say I’m addicted because TRUST ME, I KNOOOW ADDICTED. (I don’t do drugs.) But I do like the concept of Pokémon Go and the excitement that comes with it.

Also, I feel like the hype about it all has gone down a bit but I thought this beautiful creation was worth talking about. ❤

 

pokemon go graph1

As you can see above, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster with Pokémon Go, as shown through my well constructed graph from Paint.

As you can see, it started off fairly good, the hype coming from my friends talking about it and which starter pokemon they chose.

This hype soon decelerated due to my inability to get the app. Oh stupid phone storage.

Then the hype went up when I deleted all my pictures after safely exporting them to my laptop but you didn’t really need to know that. 🙂

However, my excitement went down again when the servers weren’t working because of the millions of people using it.

THEN…the hype was up again as I had made a pokemon trainer club account and could finally use the app…however on my father’s phone.

AND THEN I CAUGHT A PIKACHU AS MY STARTER POKEMON!

And then I kept getting stupid pidgeys and rattatas. -.-pikachu

And then I caught a Drowzee and levelled up to level 5, making the decision to chose Team Mystic! and #proud of it

Then I just got bored. XD

And then I got my new phone so I could use that (also didn’t need to know that) and…wait for it. I CAUGHT A MOTHER FRIGGING EEVEE ❤ ❤ ❤

My favourite Pokémon, since I was a youngling, has been Eevee. However, back when I was young I only liked Eevee because I didn’t know many pokemon and I thought she was really cute. But my main love for her now is because of all the pokemon she can evolve into! 😀 Also because she’s cute.eeveeeeee

 

So yeah, I’m pretty pro at this game now. I’m at like a solid level 8.

I’ve evolved like a whole three pidgeys and I’m 0.01 km away from hatching my first egg. I know, I’m so experienced. XD

Time for me to stop!

 

Tell me in the comments if you’ve been playing Pokémon Go and what your favourite pokemon is! Also tell me what team you’re on! I WILL NOT FIGHT YOU. 🙂

 

Go on an adventure.

-Shay :3

My Last Post!

As you guys might have noticed or probably didn’t (I don’t know) I haven’t been active on this blog for a couple of weeks. And I think it’s time to explain why.

 

I’ve been watching Spiderman over and over again lately.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that that is what I want to be when I’m older.

 

However, society says that’s crazy. So I decided that I m destined to be something quite similar to spider man. And that is a professional window cleaner for tall buildings so I look like I’m climbing up the walls.

spiderman

This means that I have to sacrifice some things, including my blog, to really practise my new passion and get to where I want to be, a window cleaner.

 

You guys are probably thinking, Shay, are you high? Probably. (Lol I can’t make that joke. I don’t even do drugs. XD )

But this is serious and I’ve really thought about it and I know that this is my destiny.

I hope everyone understands and I am going to miss you all but we have to give things up for our dreams, right?

I’m so sorry that I might have surprised you but it’s really hard bottling it up and hiding this dream of mine.

 

Goodbye everyone.

 

Go on an adventure.

-Shay :3

 

P.S Happy April Fool’s day! 😉

Being a Little Elf Human Gnome!

I’m sure your read the title and you’re probably thinking what the heck is she on??

This post is about the life of a short person. 🙂 The life of little elf human gnomes. 🙂

 

Every month I go through this phase (not my period) of absolutely hating my height and googling ways to increase it. I’m 5’2 by the way.

Even though I haven’t stopped growing, it really sucks to be short sometimes.

It’s really not fun to get called cute you know. That may seem like a compliment but it’s annoying. It’s not fun to be underestimated or for people to call you midget all the time.

 

However, since I have passed that ‘phase’ this month XD I decided to make a list of the perks of being short because I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels self conscious about being short.

 

Perks of being Short!

First off, we’re like ninjas. We can walk through crowds so easily. You won’t even see us coming. We’re like the freaking sandman, just getting place to place hidden.

 

I hate this but it’s also a perk. People underestimate short people so they’ll ‘do work’ for us. Like getting something from a high place or putting up a tent. I’m lazy so it can be handy.

 

I can get on the train for free. XD People assume that I’m ten, probably because I have the body of  ten year old boy so I can travel, without losing a penny. 🙂

However, people also don’t believe me when I’m getting tickets for a 12 or above rated movie because they think I’m really young.

 

I can go on kids’ stuff. Like I can go on the slides at playgrounds, without looking like an idiot. And I can go on a bouncy castle without all the kids staring at me. It’s a good childish life. 😀

 

I can fit in a suitcase.

 

And a cat flap.

 

I’m just kidding! I can’t fit in a cat flap. I said I was short not skinny. XD

But I can wear kids clothes! 😀 And that means saving money 😉

 

I have leg room. I hate sitting down on planes and buses for a long amount of time so it’s good that I’ll have more leg room to stretch. I can also cross my legs easily. 🙂

 

Bu yeah. I literally cannot think of anymore perks. 😥shortpeople

 

There are some really cool short celebrities though! Like Chloe Mortez, Lady Gaga, Lucy Hale, Emma Roberts, Nicki Minaj, Alyssa Milano, Shakira, Kourtney Kardasian, Anna Kendrick, Vanessa Hudgens, Ellen Page, Carrie Underwood…the list goes on…

And to get some YouTube names in there, Emma Blackery, Gabriella Lindlay, Liza Koshy, LDShadowLady, Lisa Schwartz, yammy xox are all pretty short..

 

SO to all those people, who are short, let’s embrace the shortness! 😀

 

Also I thought the image above was really funny. XD

 

Go on an adventure.

-Shay :3

 

 

 

Single Pringle, Too Awkward to Mingle!

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

 

How was my day, you ask? It was great. You know, I just bumped into my first best friend, which I made when I was about five, who I haven’t seen in a very long time, and she didn’t even recognize me and literally just had a conversation about GCSEs with my mum in WHSmiths. I do believe, however, that I said, “Hi! I didn’t recognize you!” Or I could’ve even said something along the lines of “skjdkgcbdnflddsahjhwnkd.”

Also, I was ranting to my mum for about half an hour about how pointless some school topics are and she just kept telling me all the stuff she used to love in maths like simultaneous equations and Pythagoras, of which I absolutely hate.

 

valentines day

But anyways, I couldn’t miss this chance to make a post around the theme of Valentine’s Day but at the same time, I didn’t have much to talk about…. because I’m single. And I always have been. XD

Don’t judge! I’m living the life!

Also, you should watch Bitch on the Move Ep. 3. I absolutely love the series, partly because I adore Michelle Khare but still! It’s Valentine’s Day related so…

 

So I decided to talk about the best parts about being single (comparing it to friends and people I know, who aren’t single, because I can’t really base it off my own experiences….)

 

You are as free as a bird! You don’t have to always worry about where the significant other is or what they could be doing! You’re independent and are free to do whatever you like! You don’t have to depend on your partner! You are a strong independent woman! You are Beyoncé. (Unless you’re of the male sex. Eh, you can still be Beyoncé.)

 

Your food is yours! People already steal my food, which I hate. -_- But I’m pretty sure that would happen if you weren’t single, even more, so there’s a plus! 😀 All those chips are yours and yours only!

 

You don’t have to try and look good for the other person! Shaving your legs and looking for cute outfits aren’t your priority. We live the life in leggings, pyjamas and scruffy hair. 🙂 But…I suppose you can also do that when you’re in a relationship, knowing you don’t have to impress anyone because you already have that ‘one’, if you know what I mean. 😉

 

You don’t need to stress over plans! You can do whatever you want without having to check schedules and making room for someone else. You’re free (again) to choose when and where you want to do things.

 

You can hang out with other people, without your partner getting jealous! And you can call other people good looking and fit, without making the other person upset or angry. 😉

 

Even with that being said, I’m sure being in a relationship is great!

And I hope all you love birds had a great day! And I hope all you single people had a great day too. 🙂

Valentine’s day is just my excuse to stuff myself with chocolate. Lol, who am I even kidding? I do that anyway! 😀

 

Go on an adventure.

-Shay :3

 

The “Autumn Spider”!

As you all know or should know, I have arachnophobia…

Its a hard struggle. Spider are everywhere! I see them more than I see people.

I’m joking! I’m not that anti social.

 

But anyways, I made a post about Autumn and how I love Autumn. And I do! I do really love Autumn. It’s my favourite season. But there’s a downfall.

Every Autumn, these spiders come out.

These kinds of spiders are the types of spiders I’m scared of the most. (that’s probably an exaggeration but they’re still scary) I’m not even scared of tarantulas as much as the “Autumn spiders”. (that isn’t an exaggeration) I don’t actually know what they’re called. That’s why I’m calling it the “Autumn spider”. If you know what they’re called, please tell me in the comments. 🙂autumnspiders

I’ll put a photo of them on the side so you know what they look like. (They look  scarier in real life).

 

I was just walking home from school one day, turned my head to the side, where there was this huge bush and literally, like 15 cm away from me was this spider. It give me chills down my back.

It’s disgusting. And like all spiders, moves weirdly. Why can’t spiders look friendly and cute.

 

I know they aren’t harmful and they’re “more scared of me as I am of it”. If spiders are scared of me, why do they move closer to me for???

I don’t care if they’re not harmful. They look harmful.

A man with a knife looks harmful but he might not be. (Bad example.)

 

I just hate them. I am not looking forward to seeing them around.

 

-Shay

Can’t Control The Feels!

One word to explain this post: fangirls.

Fangirls are almost a whole other group in the species of humans. An emotional group, to be more specific.

Fangirls become attached, obsessed and almost have a strong connection to things, usually fandoms.

But there are different types of fangirls. Like there are different types of dogs and cats. So basically, there are different breeds. XD

 

  • Firstly, you have the emotional, defensive fangirl that will protect their fandoms no matter what. *cough* One Direction *cough* I find that most of the fangirls like this will take anythingtumblr_mo2b552v1p1rj1vhdo1_500 as an insult even if it’s just critical. It can get annoying sometimes as you have to be really careful about what you say, especially on social media. They will hurt you. So they say anyway…I’m not kidding! Some Justin Beiber fans (Beliebers) threatened Selena Gomez, when they were going out for the first time saying: Rose are red, violets are blue, If you hurt Justin Beiber, I’ll kill you. 
  • One that is the common one is the emotional, feelspolsion one! That didn’t make sense but just go with it! 🙂 I’m not going to lie, I used to be like this. So fangirls like this get super tumblr_mmo7s5PRwk1rib295o1_400emotional over a book or movie or TV show or whatever, mostly after it has finished. And then…it makes us want to sit in the corner of a room all day, thinking about what we could do with our lives other than cry over dead characters and stuff. When Daredevil was over, I was literally so upset for about a week. What is my life?
  • The other fangirl is the freakishly obsessed one. So there are some fangirls, who will do whatever they can to catch the attention of a celebrity. And grow to become attached to someone.
    • Then their is the productive fangirls. They’re not that productive…they just do more Feelswith their lives, I guess. So these are the people who create art and fanfiction! Oh dear lord, the fanfiction, though! Some fanfiction is just terrible. Being raped by Harry Styles. Really? They also #ship a lot. I’m putting the shipper in this category because I can’t be bothered to make another point. Sorry! I ship people. I know, I’m guilty. The truth is the truth. I ship #Phan and #Jamily (it’s probably not a real hashtag. Who cares?) Don’t judge! It’s rude. :p

Am I going overboard on the gifs. Probably. And Danisnotonfire is just too funny to not add in a post like this!

So those are fangirls.

 

-Shay 

Things Parents Do:

I used to have a blog, with similar posts like the ones I post here, except it was quite limited.

I remember writing a post about parents and the funny, crazy and annoying things they do. Actually, that post was the reason I deleted the site. But we don’t have to talk about that!

However, after I posted the post on my old blog, someone commented, who actually had special machines to type for him since he was blind (i thought that was interesting). He said that the post made him smile because his mum usually did the things that I said my parents did.

So I want to write a post like that again.

Something funny that usually happens with my parents is they usually lecture me about how I need to eat healthy foods and how I should go out more instead of staying indoors all the time. But whenever my grandma comes to stay, she usually lectures my parents about that. Well…my dad, anyway, since my grandma is his mum and my mum’s parents live far far away.

They’re also quite hypocritical, which can be annoying but funny. At the time, it was annoying but now it’s just funny.

They lie too because they think it’ll “protect” you like saying:

  • “Chocolate will give you acne.”
  • “If you make a rude face and the wind changes direction, it will stay like that.”
  • “If you watch the TV for too long, it will set on fire.”

 

*STOP READING IF YOU KNOW THE TOOTH FAIRY IS REAL!*

 

I remember when my sister’s tooth came out, she put it under her pillow but my dad forgot to parentsreplace it with a coin. So in the morning, he snuck into my room, which I had shared with my sister, and took the tooth and put a one pound coin under he pillow. I was up already and we thought my sister was too until she opened her eyes and was really confused and angry. I’m not totally sure she still believes in the tooth fairy anymore.

 

I was reading BuzzFeed and I read some crazy funny stuff! I read that the writer’s parents said that his mum told him that if he touched anything in the store, a kitten would die. He also said that his dad said: “My dad told me people only get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can’t physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, dad would say, ‘Careful, you’re over 9,000 by now.’”

And he said that his dad told him that the animals on the side of the road were only sleeping because it was warm there.

 

What are some funny things your parents told you?

 

 

-Shay

The Walking Dead!

Recently, I started watching The Walking Dead and even before that, I was obsessed with zombie apocalyptic movies and things like that so I knew that I would love The Walking Dead.

However, it made me look at the world and what it means to be living on earth (anywhere really), differently.

At the end of the day, everything is survival. The Walking Dead emphasises on that more and it makes me feel a lot more comfortable because, technically, education isn’t our top priority. Survival is. And it has also made me realise that at the end of the day, no matter what authority or how superior you are, you are still human. Celebrities, politicians, teachers, parents, teenagers, everybody, really, are the same. We just have different skills, personalities and appearances.

We’re all humans with around the same needs.

 

Another things The Walking Dead has taught me is that when the world faces terrible problems, people come together. No matter who you are, you’re some what closer yet still tearing apart.

A zombie apocalypse could literally let me accomplish the things I want to do before I die:

  • Go on a road trip with friends or family
  • Travel a lot
  • Meet new people

That’s not everything I want to do before I die, of course, but it’s a few and I know you might think I’m crazy. I now that we would be on the run from murderous creatures but push that aside and think about the positives.

There are positives.

I mean…if it actually happened, I think I would be psyched and shocked and almost excited forthe walking dead about a week or two and then realise that it’s actually real life and I’m probably going to die…

But…BUT, I’ve watched enough zombie movies to know that you hit them in the head, keep quiet, stick with a group if you’re weak, travel to the countryside, cover yourself in dead people’s flesh and blood if near a lot of zombies and don’t shoot a gun unless there are loads of them.

It’s probably accurate. At least the country side thing and hitting them in the head/brain is right.

Oh…and know how to shoot a gun 🙂

 

Do any of you watch The Walking Dead? If so, whose your favourite characters???

Mine’s Maggie and Glenn…hehe!

 

-Shay