Primary School Memories!

It’s funny how fast I have grown up and how fast time has flown by. It feels like yesterday I was blowing out candles, wishing to be best friends with Selena Gomez. Now, I’m wishing for good credit score. Both of which will never come true.

I finally aged up last week, on the 16th of October, like I do every year. And now I’m big fat 19 years old! I literally don’t feel different! I don’t think I’ve felt different since I turned twelve. My face also hasn’t changed since I was twelve. Or my height. BUT, one thing that has changed are my experiences and memories.

I went out on Sunday with a few friends, one of which was my best friend in primary school, who I’ll name Fizz. Since we got to catch up, I went on a little journey down memory lane, which evidently gave me a stomach ache from laughing so hard. I thought it would be fun to share some of the crazy and wacky memories that I have of primary school.

 

Troublemakers on Bikes

Like in It, The Goonies, Super 8, Stranger Things, E.T, basically any 80s film where the kids ride bikes 70% of the time, me and my friends were the Kidz On Bikes in my area. And by ‘area’, I mean our road and the few roads that branched off it. We live in the city, it’s hard to go bike riding for fun when you’re nine.

Kool Kidz

There were five of us (including Fizz), who lived about a minute away from each other (basically on the same road). We would meet up after school and even on day offs and ride our bikes around. I remember brining out as little as £3 and having the time of our lives, negotiating with the corner shop man for lower prices. Business people in the making! I remember the corner shop man emptying Haribo’s onto a plate and selling each Haribo for 1p. We really manipulated him.

We used to play Knock Down Ginger, which is a game where you knock on someone’s door and then run away and hide. I feel like most kids have done this but we were way too brave. There were a few sketchy houses on my road and the roads near us, like this old man who lived in this really run down house. The windows were boarded off, the door was half blocked, the paint was peeling, garden overgrown. It was straight out of a horror film but we tried to knock on his door. We also knocked on the door of this house, which the police always came to. Not really sure why…

We honestly had the time of our lives. We would go out in the dark, in the pouring rain, in super cold temperatures. Now that I think about it, I’m wondering why my parents let me do all that.

 

The Man in the Bushes

In my primary school, there was this field that the big kids (year four and above) were allowed to play on. There were a bunch of bushes at the very back, right in front of the fence. And right behind the fence was a block of flats overlooking the field. One day, at lunch, all the kids were playing on the field and all of a sudden, there was a random man standing in the bushes. We were never allowed to play in the bushes again. There were theories that the man was the dad of a kid that went to the school, who lived in the flats, and he wasn’t allowed to be with his child. I don’t know. Once, he jumped over the fence into the school and we were all made to go and stay inside. After that incident, we all took the piss since we would stand in front of the flats and call out for the man to come back.

 

Cloakroom Ghost

The cloakroom was where we would keep out coats, bags and stuff. It was always dark in there and this one time, we went inside and saw a dark shadow move. Ever since it happened, we would always go into the cloakroom together or be really scared and we would claim to hear creepy sounds. Little did our dumbasses know the dark shadow was our shadow from the light coming in from the classroom. We were very silly.

 

Psychic

Another silly situation was something that happened between me and Fizz. I think it’s a fact that young people experience déjà vu more often than other people so me and Fizz were experiencing it A LOT. Because we were geniuses, we jumped to the conclusion that we were psychic. We wrote it secretly in our diaries. Fizz told me recently that she wrote ‘I am psychic’ backwards in her diary so no one would suspect it. I even remember going downstairs quietly and telling my mum privately about my secret. I genuinely believed that I had some sort of psychic ability.

 

Biggest Scams of my Childhood

In my lifetime, I have met a lot of pathological liars (they’re more common than you think) but I still can’t get over two lies that I was told in my childhood.

  1. Lie 1: In reception, when I was about five, this girl told me and this other girl she was going to the jungle after school. I asked her how she was going there and she told me she gets picked up and goes to stay the night. Even more curious, little me asked her how she could stay there since it was so dangerous and she responded by telling me that there’s a monkey, lion and some other animal that talk and take care of her. Excited, the other girl and I asked if we could come with her. Enthusiastic about the idea, jungle girl told us we could come but we had to ask our mums. I told the teacher I was going to be going with the girl to the jungle after school. I can’t imagine what the teacher must have thought. After school, I asked my mum if I could go to a freaking jungle with flipping Dora the lying explorer and my mum obviously said “no, she’s lying” and I don’t really know at what point in my life I actually accepted that there was no jungle and was no friendly talking animals and that it was all a lie.
  2. Lie 2: There was this boy, who I was fairly close friends with and so trusted, who came in with a little clump of ‘gold’. We asked the boy where he got it and he told us that he got it from the

    what I was expecting

    pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So I stupidly asked where the end of the rainbow was and he told us by the reception of the school. To get to the reception, you could either take this narrow dark pathway outside or walk to it from the inside but when my dad came to pick me up, we had to take the dark pathway. I told my dad, who already looked fed-up, to take a detour to the reception to get the gold. Tired and done, he told me the boy was lying but I went to look anyway. Spoiler alert: there was no pot of gold. Fizz and I were annoyed so the next day, we asked the boy and he told us it moved to the alleyway near my house. I don’t know what I must have done to this boy but he was really trying to get me and my friend, two young weak girls, kidnapped or god knows what.

 

Top Table

I don’t know if this was just my primary school but we had this ‘top table’ thing where every week a child from each year would get picked to sit at the TOP TABLE for lunch, with the deputy head teacher. They made it seem like such a privilege but I don’t remember a single kid that yelled “YESS! IT’S MY TURN TO SIT AT THE TOP TABLE!” I used to dread the moment I would get picked. Sadly, I did and it was the most awkward thing in my life. You just sit with a bunch of children, you’ve never spoken to before, and with this teacher, and you just eat in front of the rest of the non-top table children, who get to sit with their friends for lunch.

 

Activity Club

this is exactly what the parachute looked like

After school, on Tuedays, we had Activity Club. It lasted until 5/5:30, which meant it was only two hours but it seemed like forever when I was a child. Activity club was just  where you could do whatever you wanted. You could paint, make masks, play sports, run around, etc. They always gave us drinks and sandwiches at the beginning and sometimes, they brought Gogos (these tiny plastic monster figures you could collect) for us. Anyway, for some reason, every week, me and my friends would play with the giant rainbow parachute on the field. Every week. I can confirm that my claustrophobia was initiated at this stupid club, or at least made it worse. We would throw the parachute up in the air and then run inside before it could hit the floor and then keep running around until we were all trapped and lost and wrapped up in the parachute. And then we had to find a way out of the parachute. There was very little air and everything was dark and smelt like sweat. I swear we were stuck for a good ten minutes at one point. I honestly felt like I was trapped in the Twin Towers on 9/11.

The same boy who told us about the pot of gold would sometimes come over and push us while we were trapped and trying to get out. There was also this really big boy, who was kinda violent, who would come over and bash into us.

We still did this every week, though, so I don’t think we ever learnt our lesson. We were not okay in the head.

 

Education? Where?

I don’t actually remember ever doing proper learning for most of the year. Of course, we were taught shapes, literacy, our times tables, etc, but for most of the year, we were practising and performing plays, doing art and D.T. (just making stuff) or just anything that wasn’t really to do with conventional school.

We had a supply teacher once called Mr. Stone, who wouldn’t teach us a thing but would just sing songs with us all day. He taught us this Boa Constrictor song about how the snake kills. Our usual teacher, who was quite new, came back the next day, asking what we learnt and we told her that we just learnt the Boa Constrictor song. Mr. Stone ended up getting fired and never came back. We’re pretty sure our teacher got him fired. Jokes on her cause I’m pretty sure we got her fired, too.

The school, education wise, was pretty bad. They re-did the whole place after I left and the head teacher even got replaced. The head teacher before honestly looked like modern Miss Havisham.

my head teacher

 

Those were just a few funny primary school memories I remembered with Fizz. Do you have any funny school/childhood stories?

 

-Shay

Taste The Rainbow!

Honey, I’m home.

I am back from my long exam break. I actually finished my exams mid June but I was doing things non-stop since, which made it hard to sit down to think and write a post. I’ve done a lot in such a short amount of time: took the night bus for the first time and saw a woman snorting cocaine on her boyfriends lap (I thought they were doing something else ngl) and literally hanky pankying later, as well as another guy smoking a joint a few seats in front of me. I also got punched in the boob by a boy I used to chat to in a club, climbed the O2 and led the group down, saw Callum from Love Island on the Northern line. And all of that happened on the same day.

And on my little adventures I’ve been having, running around Central London, I’ve been noticing a lot of rainbow flags and signs, etc. It’s pride day in London, today, so I thought it would be relevant to share something important today in this post. It’s a little secret I’ve been keeping which I’m ready to spill. And I assure you, you’re going to need some ice for this piping hot tea. 🐸☕️

 

I LOVE M&M’s.

All these rainbows everywhere reminded me for my love for them! They’re basically chocolate skittles and I would love to taste their rainbow at any point in the day.  I could eat those rainbow chocolate balls all day long. Who doesn’t love a good old chocolate ball?

 

Every penny I make goes into investing in those little packets of diabetes. I don’t even care that every one of those sweet beads will end up as a bead on my face. #adultacne 🤙🏽🤙🏽

 

I love every single colour to exist of them because I don’t discriminate because I’m not RaCisT! And they just had to whip out all the different fillings too. Peanut, peanut butter, crispy, chocolate. Fuck me up! You’re doing it to my skin and thighs anyway. 🤪

 

I  know I sound crazy but I feel so relieved coming out with my little M&M secret! I hope you’re understanding and accepting.

 

oh also I’m kinda queer.

 

-Shay

 

My First Valentine’s!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or Galentine’s, or Palentine’s, whatever you like to call it. I’m all inclusive.

This Valentine’s Day was my first Valentine’s Day not because I was born less than a year ago like “Baby’s First Birthday” but because this is the first year I’ve been in a proper exclusive relationship. I’m really happy and content and since it’s the perfect day to celebrate it, I thought I’d share and articulate my feelings and emotions about them and my experience of being in a relationship.

 

I met you in a coffee shop. Cheesy and old school, I know, but I guess life just happens. I wasn’t looking for a commitment, and to be honest, I wouldn’t normally go for someone like you but I gave it a go.

Fortunately for me, you turned out to be quirky and vibrant, but sweet, soft and warm on the inside. And I love the way you smell. I love your rosy complexion and creamy white quiff and your curves and how cute you look as you just sit quietly. I can sit with you all night, wondering about the possibilities of the Universe, our future lives, things to put on our bucket lists, how weird it is we pretend to be asleep to fall asleep. You know, the usual.

But I know our relationship has an expiration date. My parents keep telling me you’re not good for me but you make me feel better when I’m stressed and depressed. I get excited knowing I’ll get to see you at the end of the hard days. We’re unconventional and untraditional but come on, it’s 2019! We can be free with our feelings. Who cares what people think? People can date whoever they want!

You make me feel really good. Especially inside me. 

You were really yummy, my little Red Velvet Muffin. ❤️

 

-Shay

Mean Girls Day!

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

And if I was there, I would have said Mean Girls Day, uncultured swine!

 

And trust me, I wore pink today.

 

It’s Mean Girls Day! Why? October the 3rd was the day Aaron asked Cady what the date was. And you know what she said? She said October 3rd.

Now, if you haven’t watched Mean Girls, firstly I want to correct you before you say “it’s just a movie, don’t be so dramatic”. It’s not just a movie. It’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle that chose me. Specifically, one evening when I was about ten, with my parents, and I wanted to choke on soil when the coach said to not have sex because then you will get pregnant and die. And I never got ‘the talk’ so I guess, better Coach Carr than no one.

 

But besides my strange childhood that made me the way I am now (i’m okay), I wanted to share my top favourite iconic Mean Girls quotes:

 

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

 

“If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”

 

I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”

“She doesn’t even go here.”

 

“I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and wide set vagina.”

 

“That is so fetch.”

 

“I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him.”

 

“I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.”

 

“Ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that’s just like the rules of feminism.”


“You can’t sit with us.”

 

“You go Glen Coco!”

 

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”

 

And two extra bonus ones because I think they’re important and everyone should live by:

“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” – Cady Heron

There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Janis Ian

 

Hope you had a happy hump day!

 

-Shay

More Crazy Things I Believed as a Child!

I previously made a post about the crazy, absurd things I believed when I was younger and since a lot of people enjoyed reading about how abnormal my head worked, I thought I’d make a part two!

 

How Babies Are Made

I used to think that if two people kiss for a long amount of time, there would be a high chance the female in the couple would become pregnant. I would always wonder when watching films, where people kissed, why they weren’t worried that they would make a baby. I was also scared to ever kiss anyone. I never got the birds and the bees talk. I ended up realising kissing didn’t cause a sperm to fertilise an egg, in year five sex ed lessons.

 

Car Lights

I think this is a common one but I used to think, because of my mum, that it was illegal to turn on the lights inside the car. Surprise, it isn’t! I’m not gonna lie, though, I used to flick it on and off just to scare my mum since I thought it was against the law. I was an edgy kid. 🤙🏽

 

Jeepers Creepers

One of the first horror films I ever watched was Jeeper Creepers. I watched it when I was about four to five. I have great parents. It didn’t traumatise me as much as you might think. I’m okay. I only go to therapy once a month now. 🙂

My guy, Jeeper Creepers

However, for a long long time, I was convinced one day Jeepers Creepers, this scarecrow moth demon thing, was going to get me and at one point, I had accepted it. I accepted my fate. Also, now I hate corn fields. Don’t watch the film, it’s actually really stupid.

I think I finally stopped being scared and watching my back constantly when going into dark areas at around eight. Again, it didn’t traumatise me as much as you might think.

 

Ants and Spiders

My mum once told me that if you left food out, ants and spiders and bugs would come along and surround the area. This is technically true but my little mind interpreted it wrong. I thought she meant by leaving food out, it would cause spiders and ants to just spawn in that exact spot.

One day, in reception, we were all sitting down after break or lunch. Someone had left some sort of food out on the floor and I whispered to the girl next to me about what my mum had said. The rest of that day, I was staring at the floor, waiting in fear for the ants and spiders to erupt from the ground. They never did. But who really knows…

 

Holding Your Breath

I thought that holding your breath would stop your lungs and heart working for a short time. So, I assumed when I held my breath, my pulse would stop too. I never checked the theory and went along with it as if it was legit factual information. It was also one of those things you never think about properly so for a long time, I just believed that holding your breath would also hold your heartbeat.

 

Spiderman Theme Tune

I never properly knew the Spiderman theme tune. There must have been a point where I did know it considering he’s always been my favourite Marvel superhero since I was about five or six (I used to pretend he followed me around and that he was my boyfriend –  don’t judge). Over the years, I have always sung the theme tune differently and for a while, this is the one I’ve stuck to:

Spiderman, Spiderman

Does whatever a Spiderman does

Is he too cool for school?

No he’s not cause he’s an alpaca

Watch out, Spidey’s coming for you!

 

It seems abooout right…

 

Babybel

Babybel is this brand of snack cheese. It’s basically circular cheese encased in this red waxy rubber covering. And everyone brought them in their pack lunches in primary school. So one day, when me and mum went food shopping, I begged her to get babybel cheese because I wanted to bring it to school to basically fit in. Screw being unique! That’s not how you make friends in primary school! My mum told me that I wouldn’t like  it and then she went on to say that it was disgusting and it really put me off it. I would see loads of my friends eating it and I would just sit there thinking, Shay, it’s gross and it doesn’t even look like real cheese. It’s not your loss for not having it, it’s really a gain. I talk to myself a lot

That’s the reason I’ve never even licked one of the babybel cheese snacks. I still continue to think its gross. Maybe I’ll put it on my bucket list to eat one, along with participating in an orgy. I’m just kidding! 😂 I would never eat babybel cheese.

 

Those are some more stupid things my dumb head believed when I was little (and maybe when I got older too… 😅)

Please share any silly things you believed! It’ll help my self esteem. 😊

 

-Shay

Street Leaflet Distributors.

You know those people who roam around the streets and shopping centres, with their perky steps and sparkling smiles, ready to hand you a leaflet or flyer, telling you that there’s like 5% off in their store or begging you to join a c̶u̶l̶t church, while you have to pretend like you didn’t hear them calling you and then you feel really bad, thinking about the moment over and over again for the rest of your now ruined day?

 

Hi, that person is me.

 

I like my job and I really do appreciate the fact that I have one since I do know how hard it is to obtain one. But…like most things, there are downsides to my job. I work for a fashion retail chain (ooh ooh, get me 💁), so there are occasions where I have to go out of the store, onto the streets, and hand. out. leaflets. to. people. who. just. want. to. enjoy. their. day.

Before, every time, I’m supposed to do this role, I get the pep talk of “Be confident!” from my manager. Trust me, I can easily be confident if I’m just talking to strangers, who I’ll never see again. That’s not my issue. I can be confident. I just don’t want to be annoying. I mean, seriously, who likes those people who try to block your path to sell you something with their fake two faced personalities, or worse, those people, who knock on your door and wait outside for god knows how long, while you turn off the lights and hide behind a chair whispering “Please, no Jehovah Witnesses today!”?

 

As I walk up and down, in front of the store, I tend to pick people with kids and those who make eye contact with me. They just seem like they’ll be a little more friendly. That, and we all know you have to avoid making eye contact if you don’t want to be approached so looking deep into my eyes and soul is basically asking for it. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people, who change their route of walking as soon as they see the leaflets in my hand, to avoid me, and the people who desperately avoid eye contact or whip out their phones to seem busy. I know your little tricks!

At first, I really do try, with a smiley face, the “Hi! There’s now 20% off everything in (Shop Name)” at the ready and a little spring in my step, but a lot of people either walk past, ignoring my attempts or shake their head. Some people do take it and if I’m lucky I get a “thank you” and you know what, to those people, I hope you live your best life and I think you’re an amazing human being, who should live in the lap of luxury. And that is definitely not an over exaggeration.

After all the rejections I get, I tend to mumble to myself. Because I’m crazy. I usually say things like “Okayyy… that’s fine. You could’ve said no thanks”, which by the way, I do say out loud. This isn’t in my head. There have even been points where I will literally just say “Just take it.” Just take it, how hard is it to just take it? There’s a bin just a few metres away, you can chuck it in there! Do iT FoR mY SAniTy ANd MENTAL HEALTH! PLEASE! HOW HARD IS IT?

Rhetorical question, don’t answer that.

 

I saw two of my friends walk down once, where I ran up to them and said “Hey guys! TAKE THESE!” while shoving about four into their hands. They just stood there in confusion.

There was even another person, giving out his leaflets. I should’ve done a swap with him.

 

It can be a really humiliating task to do and it makes me feel like my teeth will shatter from biting and grinding so hard and I tend to just want to go into another shop and sit in the corner, rocking back and forth. It just makes me want to read through cringey pinterest quotes about never letting things get you down and being brave because you only live once and you’ll have regrets yada yada yada! I guess, though, at the end of the day, it can all just be an addition to the pile of jokes that is my life. 🙂

 

So, the takeaway from this post, for you, is just take the damn leaflet.

 

-Shay

Crazy Things I Believed as a Child!

There are a lot of silly and weird things I believed when I was little. I complied a list of a few I could remember and I thought they were too funny to not share.

 

Quick Notice: Before reading this post, make sure to check the Member Search in our online magazine, The Artistics, a group blog/magazine, administered by Jerrod, where we share our creativity. We’re looking for more members so check it out!

 

FedEx Vans

I used to see FedEx vans everywhere, when I was younger, but I didn’t know what they were used for. There was one right outside my house that stayed there for ages. It had been there for years. Inevitably, my little imagination assumed they were spies and were watching people. I mean, who really knows…

 

Growing A Plant

I used to watch Strawberry Shortcake. In this particular episode I saw, she was explaining what you needed, to grow a plant, in three steps. Number one was sunlight. Number two was water. And because it was frEaKIng Strawberry Shortcake, she suggested for number three that you needed love. SO, I was in year three/four, I think, and we were learning about plants. The teacher asked our entire class to raise our hands if we knew what you needed to make a plant grow. Two people had already said the sun and water and nobody else knew anymore so I thought, Hahaha these ignorant fools. I put my hand up and with extreme confidence, announced you needed love to make a plant grow. Spoiler alert, that’s actually wrong and I’m suing Strawberry Shortcake for my emotional damage. Don’t trust that hoe.

I’ve found kids TV shows say a lot of weird things, for example, I once overheard a care bear say “I feel as tired as a nipple after feeding time”.

 

Sleeping Beauty’s Birthday

I got this personalised Disney Princesses story book for my birthday, which is the 16th of October, where I was a character in three different stories (Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty). You’ve probably already heard of something like this but it’s a company that puts the child’s name in the book to make it seem like they’re going on the adventure with whatever the main book characters of the story are. At the beginning of the story, it states it’s the 16th of October and that it’s Briar Rose’s (Sleeping Beauty) and my birthday. So for years and years, after getting that book, I thought Sleeping Beauty had the same birthday as me and I’m not gonna lie, I think it was only last year, at my big age of sixteen, that I realised that the story was personalised for me and every child, who gets that story, will have the same birthday as Sleeping Beauty and it wouldn’t be the 16th of October. You don’t know how many people I’ve told that I have the same birthday as her.

 

The Wind

My mum, for some unknown reason, told me if I made a weird or rude face and the wind changed direction, my facial expression would stay the same forever. I used to be terrified that I would accidentally make the wrong face when I was playing outside while windy.

 

The Land of Orange Juice

When I was in reception or year 1 (about ages 5-6), my best friend came to my house for the day. We were eating lunch and my mum left the room. My friend split her orange juice on the table and I said “Uh oh.” I don’t know why I did this but I started telling her the butterfly effect of what she had done. I said that the orange juice would slowly spread across the whole table and then to us, which would make us stay stuck in the same position forever, and then it would cover the floors and then the house and then the garden, and our parents and eventually, the entire world and then everybody on it and then the Universe and we would all be stuck forever. She cried.

 

Were there any crazy things you believed when you were younger or even recently? I’d love to hear them! 😄

 

-Shay

Yanny Or Laurel?

 

Let’s discuss the greatest debate of this century!

Yanny or Laurel? DUN DUN DUN!

 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, person who lives under a rock, click here right now!

Okay, so I wasn’t going to talk about it but I am so sick of seeing ‘Yanny or Laurel’ everywhere. 😂 I’m just kidding, I’m not a hater, I think it’s cool and I love that it’s the new ‘the dress’ but it’s absolutely everywhere! Also the memes are funny.

There have been so many people sending the audio to me, asking me what I can hear. I’ve seen so many YouTube videos popping up in my feed, stating they’ve explained it. When I was writing my upcoming Ocean’s 8 post, I googled ‘girls support girls’ so I could get a cute picture to add in and a picture with the words ‘Yanny or Laurel’ literally came up.

So, I decided to be part of this fiasco.

 

Firstly, I can slightly hear both of them. However, I can mainly hear “Yanny” (well, I actually hear ‘Yammy’ but whatever, my opinion is invalid😂). I did hear ‘Laurel’ at some points though, for example, my cousin sent me a video of her playing the audio and I heard ‘Laurel’. I then replayed it and heard ‘Yanny’. I think that goes to show that my brain literally can’t make a decision and it’s not just my own stupidity.

 

The actual word is ‘Laurel’, being said by an opera singer, a member of the original Broadway cast of Cats. Even though, ‘Laurel’ is what is actually being said, whichever one you can hear is technically right. Unless you hear like ‘Quanisha’ or something like that…then get help?

Being a science enthusiastic, I decided to delve deep (well, like ankles deep) into the science behind this internet debate that’s dividing people apart.

 

Both words have similar acoustic features and are technically both being played, but are travelling at different frequencies. ‘Yanny’ is travelling at a higher frequency whereas ‘Laurel’ is travelling at a lower frequency. That basically means that if your ears are “younger”, you’re more likely to hear ‘Yanny’ and if your ears are “older”, you’re more likely to hear ‘Laurel’. It’s just a matter of how damaged your ears are to be honest. That’s why I’m lowkey happy about this whole situation. Even though I hear ‘Yanny’ and people who hear ‘Yanny’ supposedly eat pizza with a knife and fork and bite into Kit Kats without breaking the bars off first, it means my ears aren’t as damaged as I thought they were from constantly listening to music on the highest volume. So to those who hear ‘Laurel’, s̶u̶c̶k̶ ̶m̶y

 

Although, my four year old second cousin can hear ‘Laurel’. He is lowkey an old man in a four year old body though…

Also if your sound quality is low, you’re more likely to hear ‘Yanny’.

 

Another reason is that your brain may just be focused on one frequency, despite whether your ears are damaged or not. Your brain does this to help manage and organise the multiple stimuli and sensory information entering your brain at once. It does this unconsciously, which is why you can’t choose which you can hear.

 

Which do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?

ᴬˡˢᵒ ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵇˡᵃᶜᵏ ᵒʳ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍᵒˡᵈ

 

-Shay

Eight Year Old Me’s Writing Journal!

I recently found an orange notebook, hidden within the pig sty that is my room, entitled (my full name)’s Writing Journal. At first I was curious and excited, since I had completely forgotten about writing in it and what I had written in it. And now, having read it, I feel very nostalgic but also a little amused so I thought I’d share eight year old Shay’s thoughts with you.

(Everything I write in italics is exactly how I wrote it when I was eight. I can say, with confidence, I have improved in writing since then.)

 

The Shooting Star

On a dark dark night with the moonlight shining so bright like dimonds twinkleing and also the stars. One day a girl called Henna went outside because she couldn’t go to sleep. “Wow”, she had just saw something amazing.

“It’s a shooting star.” she said. Woosh she zoomed towards her house and told everyone but they didn’t belive her so she went outside. Suddenly she saw the shooting star fall on the floor. She went to pick it up. 

 

And that’s it. I didn’t write anymore. I clearly thought the story out.

 

What Animal I Would Rather Be

I would rather be cat because you can walk around by yourself but dogs you have to walk with your owner and dogs have to be wet when they bath but cats don’t have to be wet when you bath.

I also wrote another reason why being a cat would be better but very badly attempted to cross out:

I would also want to be a cat because you won’t look scary but dogs look very scary sometimes.

 

Snow

Snow makes me feel delighted becaus you can make snowmen and snowangles. Snow sometimes makes me feel annoyed Because of this my feet and fingers hurt. alot.

 

Bunnyland

I would go to bunny land, which I made up on a peice of paper, because I made it up and when I drew it it looked so colourful and magical I just wanted to go into it. I also want to go there because I love bunnies and sometimes I dream of being in bunnyland. There are shops filled with toys and treats including glorious fruit and veg. There are even competitions and the prizes is money. My adventure in bunnyland would be trying all the competitions. But if I get lost it would be a big adventure.

 

What I Would Do If I Saw An Alien

If I saw an alien in the school playground, I would ask him alot of questions about him and his planet then take photos and put it on the news paper and write what he said to me. 

 

Apparently, I was a corrupt child.

 

Where I’d Rather Live

I would rather live in the sea because there are so many animals and mermaids with water fairies I also want to live in the sea because I love to swim. And once I went on a boat with a hole under it so I could see loads of sea creatures.

 

If you’re wondering, I was talking about a glass-bottom boat not an actual boat with a hole.

 

When I Grow Up

When I grow up I would like to be an Author and an Illistrater because I love to write books about me and my favorite things. I love to draw especially people and animals because they are hard to draw and it’s challenging.

 

If I Was On A Deserted Island 

I would bring food, water and my DSi.

Food will make me full of energy.

Water will keep me cool and not hot.

A game won’t make me bored.

So that is why I would take my 3 items.

If I did not have these items I would starve and be very thirsty and I will even get ill.

 

Seems legit.

 

If I Was A Pirate

If I was a pirate the best thing would be is to find treasure and be rich because I could spend it on anything.

The worste thing would be is that other pirates would bomb and shoot at us and we can get hurt.

I wouldn’t like to be a pirate because it is dangerous even if there is treasure someone could die or get hurt and you may sink while sharks attack. 

 

So those are most of the ramblings I made in my journal. The rest of the journal is just an accumulation of my thoughts and feelings on family and friends and also people’s phone numbers. There’s also drawings with captions underneath or arrows leading off them saying ‘this is bad’ or ‘this is ugly’. Self confidence issues since day one!

 

Did you write in a journal when you were younger?

 

-Shay

Who Came Up With The Idea…?

I went out the other day with my dad and sister and we went to this really cute waffle place for lunch. My dad had ordered a breakfast waffle, despite the time of day, and I sat in my seat, daydreaming off into space, as I do, and once I had been brought back to reality, I found myself staring at an egg. Just an egg frying.

And I wondered. Who decided it would be a good idea to get this white oval thing, that came out of a chicken’s butt, crack it and eat it?

So I did my research and realised that back in the day, humans used to hunt for their food and tasted everything that didn’t smell disgusting or dangerous. And the discovery that eggs were edible probably emerged very early on in the timeline of human existence. As well as this, other mammals ate eggs too (and of course, still do).

BUT!

It got me thinking about the other origin of ideas that seem very strange or very smart and so I’m going to compile a list of them without doing any research on it (for now):

 

Initially Strange Ideas:

  • The initial idea to pull crackers on Christmas (I know there’s usually a little note with info on it but I honestly forgot what it says.)
  • The decision to keep and look after animals in your own house
  • First suggestion to make a wish on a shooting star
  • First person to burn leaves and smoke it
  • The decision to use fungus to make alcoholic drinks from grains and fruits
  • The beginning of the myth the moon is made of cheese
  • The decision to use paper as an exchange for items and products
  • The idea that ribbed flared trousers look good XD
  • The realisation of death (I know this sounds stupid but I mean like realising they’re not asleep, etc. Makes sense in my head.)
  • The concept that ties make you look sophisticated
  • The initial idea that an extremely skinny waist is attractive and desired
  • Crocs
  • The idea that dark colours are ‘depressing’
  • The idea that white symbolizes ‘purity’ and ‘innocence’
  • The idea of phones and communication via satellites (I feel like I’ve already learnt this at school…)
  • Idea of slime
  • The idea that black skin and darker skins, generally, were inferior to light skin even though continents like Africa had more resources
  • The idea women were inferior to men even though women literally shoot out other humans
  • Beginning of modern oral languages
  • The first ever religion
  • First idea to shave hair off our bodies
  • My sister says: Idea of the shape of a love heart (I actually know this one but thought it might be something other people might question)
  • Who came up with the actual concept of time
  • The initial idea of memes and the first ever meme
  • First person to decide/create ‘bad/forbidden words’
  • The initial idea of the tooth fairy

Feel free to answer any of them, even if some of them are obvious and just me being stupid. XD

Also, comment your own initially strange ideas like the eating eggs one and I could make a part two.

 

-Shay