Can Positivity Be Toxic?

Can positivity get toxic, really?



Positivity is great and all but toxic positivity ignores the fact that a person is suffering. It is saying “be positive, be grateful, other people have it worse” when someone is in pain. It says to pretend to be okay when someone clearly isn’t. It masks the problem.

You’ll get over it!

Look on the bright side!

It could be worse!

Everything happens for a reason!

Just keep smiling!

Stop being so negative!

These are some examples, out of many, of toxic positivity. And I’m sure you have used one of these phrases, or something like it, before. I for sure have. Saying it to yourself might help to cheer you up but saying it to another person can be harmful. It can even be harmful to you if you’re burying your problem. An analogy I used to explain this was like taking painkillers for a malignant tumour that’s causing pain without actually dealing with the tumour; it’s only going to get worse.


I have been at fault of toxic positivity multiple times, like many people, maybe even on this blog, because as a society, we don’t address mental health well. We weren’t really taught how to encounter mental health issues in a proper way and we’re told be happy, be positive constantly. But it needs to stop.


I either read about this or heard it in a podcast, but I came to understand negative emotions aren’t bad. Anger isn’t bad. Envy isn’t bad. Sadness isn’t bad. We divide emotions up into good and bad; happiness is good, sadness is bad; we’re taught to suppress and avoid the bad ones. But we have the ability to experience these emotions for a reason! They’re not there for no reason! Toxic positivity sees these emotions as bad. In fact, personally, I believe no emotion is bad at all. We need to embrace them and channel them in a healthy way. A clinical psychologist, Dr Jaime Zuckerman, says, “Avoidance or suppression of emotional discomfort leads to increased anxiety, depression, and overall worsening of mental health.”


So how do we be non-toxic positive?

  1. Address your raw, real emotions. Don’t bury it. Don’t try and find a way to be happy without actually dealing with your anger or frustration or stress or sadness. If you’re feeling stressed about a workload, make a schedule and divide your work up into smaller pieces making it seem less stressful or daunting, for example. Or if you’re feeling sad or angry from a conflict with someone, talk to that person face to face or through text or a letter, etc, whatever you feel comfortable with. Brainstorm a solution to the problem you’re having – the solution could be simple or complex, getting someone to help you might be useful too.
  2. Find a way to cope with it inside of faking a smile and saying “be positive”! This could be through:
    -Listening to music
    -Channelling through art (painting, writing, playing an instrument, etc)
    -Meditating, yoga and breathing exercises (the one to the right has helped me before)
    -Vent in a journal
    -Dance it out! Or even just do a workout
    -Go outside on a walk or somewhere nice and calm
    -Watch a film in which you can relate to so you don’t feel alone or find comfort
    -Talk to someone about how you’re feeling
  3. Don’t shame other people’s negative emotions. Everybody experiences emotions like anger, stress, sadness, frustration, etc; it’s a very normal thing. We shouldn’t look down on people experiencing these emotions and judging them or shaming them will only make it worse for them! Instead, change your perspective on emotions and understand that it’s a normal human reaction and behaviour, helping us to tackle our everyday lives and problems.
  4. Step away from social media. Social media is a breeding ground for toxic positivity where it’s spread by people, who aren’t really aware that it is toxic. Taking a break from it could be beneficial to you and make you feel a bit free and more in control of your emotions instead of being fed quotes and posts that won’t help you.
  5. Spread awareness about toxic-positivity! Point out toxic positivity to people and correct them for it. I’ve put a table of correct things to say in place of toxic positivity below to make it clearer what is right and wrong. Non-toxic positivity accepts a person’s emotions and suffering instead of just trying to move past it and ignoring it.

Alternate phrases to avoid toxic positivity #CoolGuide | Mental and emotional health, Emotional health, Positivity

I hope this helped to make you familiar with what toxic positivity is and why it is bad.



100 Days Of Rejection Challenge?

Zoey 101 rejected - TV Fanatic

The 100 Days Rejection Challenge is a challenge in which you basically seek out rejection for 100 days! And this means REJECTION! You have to sought out situations which could likely result in  rejection such as asking a stranger for £100 or asking for a free room at a hotel.

The creator of this challenge is Jia Jiang, who gave a TedTalk about it. His goal was to desensitise himself from the pain of rejection and overcome fear.


At first, it sounded very silly and kind of scary to me but upon further thought, I actually think it’s brilliant. So many people fear rejection, to the point where they won’t put themselves in any situations that could potentially result in rejection like telling someone you like them or going for a job opportunity.

I, personally, don’t really fear rejection, but nonetheless, this challenge will 100% build confidence and install a warrior within you because 100 days of rejection makes a person resilient and fearless.


Of course, 100 days is a lot and starting from avoiding rejection to going 100 days with rejection is a big leap so even if you can’t manage the full 100 days, don’t be afraid to face rejection in you day to day life. You have nothing to lose. You only have one life and you’ll have regrets if you don’t take opportunities or take control of your own life. Take rejection one step at a time.


Take this post as a sign to apply for that job or ask someone out or do whatever it is you’re fearing because of rejection. Just give it a go, for me. 🥺


“Sometimes rejection in life is redirection.”


Survival Guide For Year 12 Students!

It’s the end of summer and back to school!

Whoop whoop! 🎉


And I’m in my last year of secondary school/sixth form, which a lot of people would be happy about, but I am sad about because I really do love my school and friends and my subjects. I enjoyed year 12, which is equivalent to 11th grade/junior year in America (and not sure about other countries). Therefore, having gone through the experience of year 12, I want to share little tips on what you should do to minimise stress and regret later in the academic year!


Consolidate Your Notes

After every single topic you’ve finished in your subject, go over your notes and textbook for that topic and write up revision notes/flashcards/whatever method you prefer to revise from. Do that after every topic!

I know it sounds like a lot and a faff but honestly, if you write up your notes after the topics, you will understand it more, which will be helpful because those topics will also be applicable to other topics, most likely. It also means that you would have finished writing your revision notes so come the summer term, you won’t have to make those revision notes. You can just start learning off them. Writing up and understanding notes in your own way and method will also make it easier for you to remember.

Trust me! You won’t regret doing this.


Organise Yourself, Child

This is something I really wish I did. It’s filing away your notes after each topic.

For example, after your subject teacher has officially finished going over a topic and has moved onto the next, write up your consolidation notes and then file away the notes you made in class into your subject folder. The mistake I made was leaving all my notes in my refill pad and slipping in loose sheets in the front until the whole notebook was full and hard to look at and I couldn’t use it. It’s horrible. It actually stresses me out, right now, thinking about it. It takes hours to sort through and organising it and filing it away.

Just start from day one and organise your damn self! Also, it might be a good idea to get a different notebook for each subject so you don’t get confused or things don’t get messy. And it will get messy. I’ve learnt the hard way.


Make A Revision Schedule

At GCSEs, I didn’t have a revision schedule. I just went with the flow and did whatever I wanted or thought I needed to revise that day. And truth is, it worked out because I got decent grades, which I’m happy with. That isn’t going to work for year 12. Nope. I tried to make it work but it didn’t.

You need to make sure you focus on each topic and make sure you learn every detail you need. I know this may not be helpful for all people but I made a calendar of each month and wrote in each day a chapter or topic I would read over and do questions on, taking into account days I couldn’t revise due to other commitments. You can even throw in a chill day but so long as you stick to the schedule and it has every chapter and topic you need to learn fit in, you’ll be absolutely fine.

I was getting really bad grades in the big psychology tests we did, like Es and Ds. I ended up getting the highest grades, like As and Bs, by the end because I stuck to a schedule and learnt and revised all the topics and evaluations. And that was only in about a month, which I can’t guarantee will happen for you but it shows that your grade can really go up!


Past Papers Are A Student’s Best Friend

Everyone had their own revision style and method and you should experiment at the beginning of the year to find which one works best for you. If you want me to make a post on all the quirky and classic methods I found, comment so!

However, every student should do past papers, no matter what revision method you do. Always do past papers on top of your chosen personalised method! Do as many as you can and look at the mark schemes and just keep doing them over and over again. Do the same ones a month later and see if you do better. Past paper will help you! I wish I did more!


Don’t Be Cocky

I found a lot of people thought that just because they got As at GCSEs, they were going to be fine at A Levels. That’s very wrong! A Levels are way harder and some people say that it’s the hardest stage of your education, even more than University. So sorry to scare you but it’s going to get hard. You can’t just sit back and relax and hope that your A*s and As at GCSEs will help you.

And don’t boast or be arrogant. No one will like you and it’s annoying. 😂


Talk To And Make Friends

Year 12 is one of your last years in secondary school/sixth form/college/high school. I’m not sure how it is in other countries but for all I know, in year 13, it’s mainly work and spending your free periods revising. That means year 12 is the year to have a bit of fun, while still maintaining or reaching for good grades. Make a balance of fun and work. I made a lot of friends in year 12 and it was also one of my best years at school and I made a lot of good memories, which you should do too! It’s one of your last years so try and pluck up the courage and confidence to do things your wouldn’t normally do, that are legal and not stupid, of course!

And try to take advantage of the opportunities that come your way! Don’t be scared.


Reward Yourself

If you do work hard, you need to reward yourself every week or so. Go out with your friends, go see a film, go to a party on the weekend, do something fun! We’re like dogs. We need to be rewarded for a behaviour to be done frequently so if you want to feel motivated more, you need to reward yourself every now and again.


Mental Health Is More Important

Despite what I said, at the end of the day, your mental health is the most important thing. I understand that year 12 is pressurising, especially with students who are aiming really high e.g. applying for medicine, etc. If you find that your mental health and even physical health is suffering, stop for a sec and try to get help or find ways to calm yourself down, etc.

I got really stressed at one point because I was overthinking and the school was putting a lot of pressure on us. I ended up feeling really depressed and experiencing symptoms, which I hadn’t experienced in ages. My eye kept twitching at certain points and I even started struggling to breath – it was really weird, don’t ask. I ended up spending a day writing a list of all the things I was worried about and making me stressed and wrote solutions next to them. I also talked to people about it to get it off my chest.

I know you might not agree with this but your mental health should come first, for several reasons like stress can actually affect your memory badly, and doing badly in year 12 really isn’t the end of the world. Don’t try and put yourself in the position to end up doing badly but if you do, there are always ways to fix that in year 13.

Basically, make sure you’re a happy bean! 🙂


Hopefully you actually take my tips into account. They will be really helpful if you take action on them. A lot of students told me the same advice at the beginning of year 12, which I ignored, because I’m stupid and stubborn. You’ll probably end up telling the next year 12’s the same advice.

Apart from that, enjoy year 12 and good luck for all your exams!


I’d love to know what subjects you’re doing or any advice that has helped you before, no matter what year you’re in.




P.S One last tip that you should really use even if you decide to ignore the rest, above. Don’t give your pens or pencils to anyone. They may say “I’ll give it back” but that just mean “I’m gonna keep this and hope you forget about it or are too nice to ask for it back.” TRUST NO ONE! (Apart from me and my advice, of course. 😀 )

Great Scale of the Universe!

It’s the end of exam season and I wanted to remind those of you, who are doing or did exams, about something important. (Even if you’re not doing exams, this is still applicable to you.)


In the grand scheme of things, we are dots. We are atoms, in terms of size, to the planets and the galaxy. We’re just tiny creatures that inhabit one small blue planet amongst billions.

There are literally giant rocks crashing and burning up in space. There are potential life forms, other than the ones on our planet, that could be figuring out, right at this very moment, how to survive. There are supernovas and planetary nebulas and black holes sucking in anything close by. There are little bots roaming around Mars and space stations hovering up in space.

There are probably crazy undiscovered animals deep in the massive part of the ocean, we haven’t even ventured to yet. There are forests being chopped down and species of animals dying more frequently than you think.

There are people popping out more people and people that don’t get to be people anymore. There are nuclear weapons that could destroy countries and lives. There are things being kept a secret from society.

There are mysteries and classified information we might never know about our world.

Your cells are diving every second and there cells within your blood, which are basically a union of heroes to your body. You have air passing in and out your lungs. You have hair growing out of your living, breathing body.

We’re just a small generation in the great history of Earth. There have been the beginning of this planet (however you believe the world was created), dinosaurs, king and queens, an era they thought smoking was good for you, ancient Egyptians, Greek mythology, wars, etc. In comparison to all that’s happened, we’re just a second that’s gone by.


That bad grade you got means nothing.

That being said, your education, or whatever it is you’re doing, is important for your life but a bad A level grade or a bad grade assignment you turned in, or even if it’s a bad day you’ve had (or bad week/month/year), it’s a very small inconvenience in the great scale of the universe. I know it doesn’t seem small because you are the centre of your universe; it’s your life, you’re the core of it all. But it really isn’t as big of a deal as you think it is.

There’s always a second route you can take, which isn’t all that bad. I can say from my own experiences and others’ experiences that when you get into a bad situation, that seems like your entire future is over, there is always a safe and good solution out, which turns out being for the best. And I’m not just saying that for the sake of being relatable and positive and inspiring, I’m saying it because I’ve been through rough difficult days and I’ve gotten out of it. Turn your bad situation into a success story! 😄

Don’t dwell on what’s happened, it’s not worth jeopardising your mental health for. Think rationally, and seek other options or ways to solve your problem. Sometimes that solution is time and just waiting and being patient.


Although, don’t brush off your situation as unimportant and something you shouldn’t address because it’s ‘silly’ or ‘stupid’ to you but revaluate your situation and understand it’s not the end of the world or of you. There’s ALWAYS a safe way out. There’s ALWAYS a solution.

It’s okay to have a melt down, just don’t stay in that meltdown forever. Cry and then refocus on what you need to do.


I’m stating this now since exam season is kind of over (I sympathise with those, who still or are now starting exams) as I didn’t want any of you to read this and think that means you don’t need to work hard or strive for good grades. However, I know some of you might be thinking and regretting decisions you made in the exams, which you can’t fix now. You might be upset or frustrated over an exam you did but it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world – a saying, which I hated to hear from people, but it really isn’t.


If anyone needs advice or someone to vent to, you can talk to me! Leave a comment or contact me here! Or stare at calming cat for a while. He’s calming.



The Island of Misfit Geniuses!

I remember when I did Media Studies at GCSEs, we had to research about game shows and how they became so popular in the UK. We studied Mastermind, a BBC television quiz, and we studied Fred Housego, who was a taxi driver. He won the game show in 1980, which brought a wave of shock to everyone, because he was just a taxi driver. This impacted people’s mind-sets on what it meant to be somebody clever and the future of game shows. People, from all walks of life, obtained more confidence and hope, after Fred Housego won Mastermind, as it proved that you didn’t have to have a degree to be intelligent.

“Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid.”

-Albert Einstein


There are different types of ‘Genius’, which is something, I’ve found, a lot of people can’t come to accept or understand.


Having taken primarily science-y subjects for A levels, I’ve worked with, socialised and made friends with a lot of other science based students, since we are centred around the same areas of my school, we learn similar stuff and we all have similar goals, like working in medicine or labs or with telescopes, etc. And although all of that has taught me a lot and made me even more excited about learning new things in science, there have also been a lot of little discoveries I’ve made. A lot of these science-orientated people can be quite arrogant. I’m not saying all of these people I’ve met are but there have been a good share that are.  They’re so pinned on their own ideas, for example, the big bang theory is the only way that the universe began. And that’s okay to believe that. I believe that. BUT, a lot of those people do not accept the fact that others think differently. They’ll believe that science is the only way, nothing else is true. I guess you can dismiss that point, considering some people are just strong about what they believe is true. Sure. However, I’ve also found that these science-y students think they’re entitled. Of course, if you’ve put in the hard work, you’ve studied, you’ve done your research, you’ve done every titration experiment and every calculation with great accuracy and care, you can have bragging rights and you can show off because you do deserve it. And obviously, you’ll know more about a subject you’re specialised in than someone who isn’t specialised in that topic. But that doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone else, just because you know the position of equilibrium or how to work out standard deviation.

I’m just basing this idea of people feeling entitled on science-based students, because that’s who I’m most surrounded by but I know this applies to other people as well like musical geniuses, etc.


I think the education system and the way society works, in general, is to blame for this, but I’ve noticed a lot of people comparing their intelligence by asking “okay, so then what grade did you get in maths?” to see who’s smarter. Grades are another thing that do not define intelligence. Academic intelligence is measure with grades. Being academically intelligent or not does not define whether you’re a genius or not. There’s actually a 0.2 correlation between IQ (intelligence best measure) and grades.


With all this rambling and venting, I’m trying to explain that not everyone needs to be a scientist or a straight A student or watch plays all the time to be somebody intelligent. I feel like nowadays, there’s a stigma around people, who choose to lead a more ‘chill’ creative path or work in other jobs like retail and services, assuming they’re not as clever, as their intelligence is not defined in society. It’s almost as if all these other smart people, from all walks of life, other than people involved in STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) related careers and choices, are chucked onto this island of misfit geniuses because their ‘genius’ doesn’t fit in with what people think being a genius is. And that’s a shame because I’ve met a lot of people that are incredibly intelligent but don’t think so because they work in clothes stores and didn’t get good grades in school and society claims that means you’re stupid, which I think is a stupid claim.


I want anyone reading this to understand that you do not need to be a Darwin or Newton to be a genius. Referring back to Einstein’s quote, you just have to find and work at the thing you enjoy. Not everyone can be good at everything and not everyone is good at the same thing. If that was true, society and the world just wouldn’t work. Despite the people that hate differences, we do need difference. 

You can be and do whatever you want to be and still be a smart individual so long as you work hard and maintain a positive attitude that you’ll succeed.



Say “No” to “No”s.

At a young age, we respond to the question, ‘what do you wanna be or do when you get older?’ with confidence and enthusasim, an attitude like you can conquer the world and anything contained within in.

And then when you do get older, you’re told no. No, you can’t get be a politician. No, you’re not good enough to play football. No, boys can’t be ballerinas. No, you just can’t. We’re told no.

Sometimes, those “No”s come from yourself. I always told myself that I couldn’t work in science because I wasn’t smart enough and it wasn’t  a low self esteem kind of thing, I just accepted and believed that was a border I couldn’t go past.


I’ve seen this advert by Samsung, several times, which inspired me to write this post. It’s really inspiring and it’s about people being told what they can’t and shouldn’t do, etc. It’s a great advert but I still refuse to ever get a Samsung phone.


I was told that I couldn’t get higher than a grade 4 in maths GCSE, by my teachers. I was at a level 3 at the time and instead of conforming to their No’s, I said yes. And I ended up going up three grades to a level 6 (equivalent to a B).

My psychology teacher  told me I could probably get a D/C and should be ‘realistic’ with my goals for my grades. I got an A.


And here’s the little cherry on top with whipped cream.

I requested my teacher to mark my chemistry mock paper in front of me, believing I’d be strong and brave enough to pull through and also thinking her judgmental and harsh criticism about my mistakes would scar me enough to force me not to make the same mistakes again. Pretty good logic, right?

As I stood beside her, awkwardly, while my two friends sat a few meters away at a lab table, she began flicking through the pages, shaking her head and scribbling down with her red pen. She kept writing little comments like “really?” next to my answers and scattered a ton of question marks everywhere. Everywhere.

I just stood there, using all my strength to restrain the freaking river about to pour out my eyeballs, popping with veins. I mean, I didn’t even know what was going on when I was doing the test, how am I supposed to suddenly realise what my thought processes were and answer those goddamn red question marks.

This younger boy (I think year 9/10) came in at one point and asked my teacher what he got in his test and she started discussing with him his grade. I zoned out at this point but I remember the end of their conversation where he pursed his lips and asked “so I got the highest in the class.” My teacher puckered her lips and said “yes.” They locked eyes and I’m pretty sure they were having a moment. I just looked back and forth at both of them.

I swear to god if that boy had longer hair, he would have strutted away whipping it to the side. I could have gagged.

Anyways, at the end of her marking, she looked at me and said, “Shay (well, my full first name), most students are bad at a few topics and good at others.” She paused. “You’re bad at everything.”

I was speechless. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that. 😂


In a one to one in the sun, the next day, she explained to me that “I need to stop going out.” Stop going out? What is out?

She even drew out a graph for me, on the front of my paper, comparing my over-achieving-goody-goody-A-student progress in. year. SEVEN to my progress now, in year TWELVE. I don’t think it takes rocket science to figure out that A levels are just a tad, just a smidge, JUST A TEEENY WEEENY bit harder than year seven. You have to remember words like squamous epithelium and nucleophile. She even told me I was going to pass chemistry but I was going to be disappointed.

At the end of marking my paper, I asked her what my grade was. She thought for a while, flicking through the paper, “not a good grade.”

Cool, I thought, “but what grade?”

“An E, maybe a D.”

I found out that my grade was actually a high C, which is actually really not bad at A levels. I mean, I wouldn’t want a final C for my AS grade but the way she made my mock grade out to be made it seem like I’d have to resort to working in the world’s oldest profession…if you know what I mean.


Those are small examples about school and grades and I know most people reading will be doing exams and are currently at school (whether that be high school, University, etc) so I feel like those experiences may be relatable to you and also motivating. You may feel limited and people may tell you that you are limited but that isn’t necessarily true and I hope my experiences can prove that to you. I’m not the highest achieving student at school. I’d say I’m about average, nothing extraordinary, but I could still get to where I wanted to be so trust me, you can too.


Other examples, besides school experiences, include times where I have been asked to be quiet because I’m “too opinionated”. I’ve been told, indirectly, that I can’t be funny because I’m a girl. I’ve been told I’m small and weak. I’ve been told a lot of things and a lot of “can’t”s and “no”s.


Use those “No”s as a way to motivate yourself, prove them wrong because trust me, it feels so good! It’s kind of like revenge but more morally right?  😂 And it feels really good to do things people say you can’t do. Even if that person is yourself.

It takes hard work to prove people wrong but in the long-term it’ll be worth it. It’s a few months of work and a little bit of pain and a hell of a lot of stress for achieving the things you want. And it’s true, some people have to work harder than others. People in developing countries have to work very hard to even get the chance to be at a point of achieving the ability to go on to do secondary education. We get that for free. In fact, we have to go through with it.


Whether it be a marathon you’ve been told you can’t do, a test you’ve been told you can’t pass, whether it’s a condition you’ve been told you won’t be able to cope or manage or get past, do what they say you can’t do.

Work and push hard, prove people wrong and make yourself happy. Sometimes it’s not even about doing things to change the now, it’s about proving to people you can deal with whatever is happening or comes your way and nothing will crush you. You know yourself better than anyone, you know what you’re capable of. Others don’t. Be strong.

Say “No” to “No”s.



What Are You Doing Tomorrow?

I’m not here to engage in small talk about your plans for tomorrow. Not the plans you’re probably thinking about anyways – the kind where you describe where you’re going or what you’re going to eat for lunch.

I’m talking about the plans on what you choose to do with the time you have that’ll affect you and your life.


I was listening to this short clip (my friend posted it on his Snapchat story) and it was about dwelling on the past. I forgot who was in the video and I can’t find the video but he said something along the lines of: how many Instagram quotes, posts, people, content, etc, will it take to make you stop dwelling on the past. And it’s true.

Everyone can relate to this because there’s always some aspect of our pasts that we constantly think about or regret or replay in our minds. But the hard, brutal truth is: it’s never going to change. Whatever happened cannot change. It’s in the past – that’s the point.

Everyone trips and falls, and some harder than other. But that’s okay.

It may seem like the end of the world because you are the centre of your world. Any minor inconvenience that happens to you can seem major because you are the core of your life, as obvious as it sounds. We’re self centred because we only know the perspectives of ourselves; we can only see through our own eyes and move with our own legs.


But you can focus on the future and you can change tomorrow. Every single human on earth has the same amount of time in the day. Even if that time you have is mainly spent in the bright light of the sun or whether it’s spent in the dark blanket of sky and moon, we all have approximately twenty four hours. And it’s your choice on how you use that time and what you decide to do and be, the moment you wake up.


Make a change day by day. Little by little. And don’t dwell on the past.


So, what are you doing tomorrow?


Baby Steps to Being Happier!

I used to be quite depressed.

It was really bad when I was about fourteen to fifteen years old. Now, I’m seventeen, and although I still haven’t fully recovered, I don’t think I’m depressed anymore.

There are many days where I feel mentally, emotionally and physically tired as well as lonely despite the countless friends and family I have surrounding me. Of course, everyone has a different case and I can’t understand completely what anybody, who is depressed or experiencing low moods feels like but I do know some things that work, at least for me.

I hate when people say ‘Just be happy’ or ‘Stop being sad’ like it’s a switch.

But you can take small steps to getting on the track of a happier life. Even if these things do not work for you, it’s worth a try.


Start a project:
Projects can be distracting but rewarding. It focuses your mind on something different instead of your problems and emotions. Although it’s not a permanent fix to how you may be feeling or any situational factors, it can motivate you to do something about your life and push you to be productive. You may also find, as I did, that you go to sleep feeling happier and less guilty or sad. You could pick anything, from something related to what you’re already good at or something entirely different and new. I chose writing – a story to be precise – and it’s something I feel proud of, even though I haven’t gotten very far with the writing process. Other examples include painting, training to run a marathon, learning to play the guitar, etc. Make your goal specific, realistic but challenging. Easy projects are quick and can be boring.

Find a new hobby:
I’ve spoken about this before but when I was in the midst of my misery, I decided at one point I wanted to change things. I had heard about people, who lucid dreamed and kept dream journals and devoted a bit of their time into controlling and thinking and learning more about dreams. I found it really interesting as I had already been a bit of a lucid dreamer but I never explored it, if that makes any sense. I did a lot of research and I, too, kept a dream journal, and it made me feel comforted and something to look forward to doing. It’s a little like the project idea but finding and partaking in a new hobby can be good and also rewarding. Google some crazy or weird hobbies that you never thought you’d do and try it out.

I recently downloaded the MHapp. It’s a free NHS mental health and wellbeing app, which helps with stress, anxiety and depression. It tells you how stress, anxiety and depression affect the body physically, it provides advice but, the part I use the most is this little icon called ‘My Wellbeing’. This is just a record of your emotion, on that day. However, as well as this, there are three boxes you can fill:
a) I am looking forward to…
b)Today I have achieved…
c) Today I am grateful for…
I know it doesn’t seem like much but those three boxes in a way forces me to think about the good that happened on the day even if I’m feeling down. Instead of making you recount the bad that happened on that particular day, you’re made to write about positivity of the future, present and the past.
You don’t even have to get the app to do this, you could use a notebook to write in every day and it can just be a few lines. Doing this pushes you to think positively.

Talk to someone regularly:
As humans, we’re social creatures. Loneliness is actually very harmful and I get that even in a room full of people, you can feel isolated. However, engaging in conversation with someone can reduce your feelings of loneliness and make you feel more refreshed. Social interactions have shown to increase happiness levels by 6.38%. You don’t even have to talk about your current feeling or issues. You could talk about anything but try and have a deeper, insightful conversation instead of just “what did you do today?” kind of conversations.

Have a ‘YOU’ day:
This is also something I’ve started to do recently. Dedicate a day to do things for yourself! Personally, I dedicated every other Sundays so that on Mondays, I feel refreshed and start the week with a positive attitude. What I usually do is be productive and do work in the morning and then later on in the afternoon or the evening, do face masks and wash my hair and have a bubble bath and drink herbal tea and watch a show or film I wanna watch. Basically, get comfy and do what makes you feel good.
Along with this idea of doing things for yourself, stay hygienic and healthy. Change into clean clothes, change your bed sheets, clean your room, go to bed at a good time, regular exercise (even just a five minute walk), tidy things up (both metaphorically and literally.)

Fake it ’til you make it:
If you are having continuous bad days, I hate to say this because even I would’ve rolled my eyes reading this but…pretend/act happy and cheerful. Feeling depressed and stressed usually goes hand in hand with overthinking and constantly thinking about something you did or an issue in your life. Try not to think about it too much and instead go about the day, smiling. I know it sounds like it won’t work and it may not but I try really hard to do this on days I wake up feeling negative and low and by the end of the day, I tend to feel better. For example, if you’re feeling angry about something someone did, don’t stress about it too much, smile (seriously, bare those teeth) and walk with a spring in your step. Say hi to people you know as you walk by and smile at them. That can brighten their day too.

That being said, do not push down your issues deeper. Tackle that issue if it continues to grow but try not to let that issue get in the way of how you’re feeling.


There are tons more different things you can do to help you feel a bit happier but these are just some that have helped me. I can’t guarantee it’ll work for you as we’re all different people, working in different ways, but there’s no harm in trying.

And if anyone reading this needs to talk, you can post it in the comment or email me at



Mourning Over a Loss!

Mourning over a loss is terrible. It really is, especially if it was someone very close to you.


I think my first loss was when I was five, when my grandpa died. I wasn’t close to him at all and to be honest, me and my cousin were scared of him. Looking back now, I realise how much he wanted to get us to like him but we were young and confused and we didn’t really understand why he laid in bed all day and drank alcohol, whilst my grandma had to do everything for him.

My aunt was another loss I didn’t understand. She was so kind to me and my cousins. She would take us out all the time and buy us sweets and little things, that made us smile and then one day, she just disappeared. Of course, she died, but at the time, I didn’t know much about death. I still don’t know how she died and I feel like asking will only trigger negative emotions. This might have actually been my first loss because I think I was four.


I’m not going to go on about all the losses that I have had but one of the most hard losses that IGumball Five Stages of Grief have ever had to deal with was my cat. I don’t care about how silly that might sound. And I don’t really care if you say “She was just a pet…” You will never understand what it feels like until you get a pet yourself, that you grow to love.

I was grieving for ages, when my cat died. I remember coming home every day, after school for months, crying. It was awful.

And I know how bad that feeling is. As if there’s nothing left and no hope. So I thought today I’d talk a bit about the five stages of grief.


Shock and Denial:

I know it’s usually just denial but you feel shocked when you hear the news of when you realise what’s happened. I’m going to use my cat as an example because she was one of the most earliest losses for me. When my dad told me one morning that my cat died, I stared at him, thinking it was a joke. So many thoughts ran through my head in the few seconds I stayed still. I never thought of a life without my cat, how is life even going to carry on without her? And then I burst into tears. I denied the fact that she was gone. I didn’t want to accept it, at all.



I was angry at everyone. I was angry at my parents for telling people that I was strong and coping with it well. I really wasn’t. I was angry at my sister, who already wanted another cat. I was angry at my friends, who thought it was weird to be so upset and telling me to get another pet. I was angry at the freaking driver, who bumped into her and didn’t stop. I was angry at myself for not being there, to stop it. I was angry at my cat because she didn’t watch where she was going. I was angry at Milly, herself. And I didn’t even try to deal with that anger.



I begged the universe to do something. I gave up things in return to get my cat back. I even wished it was me instead of her. She didn’t deserve to die. She was young – 3 years old – and I had lived a longer life than she did. I just wanted her to be back again, brightening my day.



This was the longest stage for me. I gave up hope on everything, crying for hours, almost every day. I didn’t talk to many people and everyone thought it was just me being quiet after starting secondary school. I blamed myself for everything that happened and I just wanted to escape everything. There was also a bit of anger in this stage, for me, too, as I began to be a little hostile and rude to other people, because they didn’t understand. I hated them for not understanding and not trying to help.



And after a while, I came to accept what happened. It stills upsets me now, to think about my cat and her death but it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it. Loved ones die and unfortunately, we just have to carry on. I began to smile at the memories that happened. The memories that make me laugh, hard and smile, brightly. And we’re lucky to have that. All good things come to an end and we just have to learn to accept that, even if it means going through all the stages.


If you’re going through a loss, I hope that this will make you understand that things will get better and it’s normal to go through all of this. I know that it might not feel like things will get better, I felt that way, too. It will, though. And as weird as it may sound, you’ll gain a lot from the loss and the grieving process even if you might not notice it. For instance, I was able to post this. 😉 And also I would never have started to write books, which is a very long story, that I’ll have to save for another day. 🙂


Go on an adventure.

-Shay :3.


Carry on; 

I love this post so much! It’s very deep and very true

Writers use a semicolon when they could end a sentence, but choose to carry on. A semicolon is used where there could be a full stop, but the story keeps going. For many people there has been many times where it felt easier to bring things to a full stop. Time and time again it has felt easier to give up but, thank God, they’ve carried on. 💛

The truth of the matter is: life is hard. There are times where you think it would be easier to give up, but that’s not an option.

So to everyone who feels like giving up today, my semicolon is dedicated to you; I hope you find the strength to carry on 💚

“Don’t let your story end.”

~ Galaxy Charm 💜

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