Crazy Things I Believed as a Child!

There are a lot of silly and weird things I believed when I was little. I complied a list of a few I could remember and I thought they were too funny to not share.

 

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FedEx Vans

I used to see FedEx vans everywhere, when I was younger, but I didn’t know what they were used for. There was one right outside my house that stayed there for ages. It had been there for years. Inevitably, my little imagination assumed they were spies and were watching people. I mean, who really knows…

 

Growing A Plant

I used to watch Strawberry Shortcake. In this particular episode I saw, she was explaining what you needed, to grow a plant, in three steps. Number one was sunlight. Number two was water. And because it was frEaKIng Strawberry Shortcake, she suggested for number three that you needed love. SO, I was in year three/four, I think, and we were learning about plants. The teacher asked our entire class to raise our hands if we knew what you needed to make a plant grow. Two people had already said the sun and water and nobody else knew anymore so I thought, Hahaha these ignorant fools. I put my hand up and with extreme confidence, announced you needed love to make a plant grow. Spoiler alert, that’s actually wrong and I’m suing Strawberry Shortcake for my emotional damage. Don’t trust that hoe.

I’ve found kids TV shows say a lot of weird things, for example, I once overheard a care bear say “I feel as tired as a nipple after feeding time”.

 

Sleeping Beauty’s Birthday

I got this personalised Disney Princesses story book for my birthday, which is the 16th of October, where I was a character in three different stories (Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty). You’ve probably already heard of something like this but it’s a company that puts the child’s name in the book to make it seem like they’re going on the adventure with whatever the main book characters of the story are. At the beginning of the story, it states it’s the 16th of October and that it’s Briar Rose’s (Sleeping Beauty) and my birthday. So for years and years, after getting that book, I thought Sleeping Beauty had the same birthday as me and I’m not gonna lie, I think it was only last year, at my big age of sixteen, that I realised that the story was personalised for me and every child, who gets that story, will have the same birthday as Sleeping Beauty and it wouldn’t be the 16th of October. You don’t know how many people I’ve told that I have the same birthday as her.

 

The Wind

My mum, for some unknown reason, told me if I made a weird or rude face and the wind changed direction, my facial expression would stay the same forever. I used to be terrified that I would accidentally make the wrong face when I was playing outside while windy.

 

The Land of Orange Juice

When I was in reception or year 1 (about ages 5-6), my best friend came to my house for the day. We were eating lunch and my mum left the room. My friend split her orange juice on the table and I said “Uh oh.” I don’t know why I did this but I started telling her the butterfly effect of what she had done. I said that the orange juice would slowly spread across the whole table and then to us, which would make us stay stuck in the same position forever, and then it would cover the floors and then the house and then the garden, and our parents and eventually, the entire world and then everybody on it and then the Universe and we would all be stuck forever. She cried.

 

Were there any crazy things you believed when you were younger or even recently? I’d love to hear them! 😄

 

-Shay

36 thoughts on “Crazy Things I Believed as a Child!

  1. mymindspeaksaloud says:

    My parents told me the wind one too! I also thought that the phone adverts before The X Factor meant the winner won a phone rather than a record deal. I believed there was a monster in the hole in the ceiling at primary school because all the older kids said there was. And I thought all 19 year olds were fully grown adults that knew exactly what they were doing (but now that I’m 19 I know this is totally inaccurate😂)
    Loved this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shay says:

      Yeah the wind one is a common one! And haha 😂 the contestants go through so much trouble for a phone. And we had something similar in my primary school cause we thought there was a ghost in this room we put our coats and bags in. Yeah, I think maybe 30 is the real age you turn an adult 😂 Thank youu!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Josh Gross | The Jaguar says:

    “I feel as tired as a nipple after feeding time”.

    Definitely need to start using that line in everyday conversations. Or maybe not.

    You definitely need to sue that strawberry hoe, and probably the Disney storybook company too. How dare they mislead you into believing you had the same birthday as Sleeping Beauty?

    Speaking of which, didn’t Sleeping Beauty technically wake up at some point in the story? So shouldn’t she be called Awake Beauty now? Although, after being asleep for many years she probably felt groggy as shit when she woke up. Perhaps we should call her Really Cranky, Desperately Needs Breakfast Beauty?

    Like

    • Shay says:

      I think you should DEFINITELY use that phrase in your everyday life, every day! And yeah, I really should sue both companies, how dare they mislead and deceive a stupid seven year old like that!

      Also, that’s very true! She should probably be called Ex-Coma Beauty! Or maybe Beast cause I can’t imagine what sleeping for that long can do to you…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Josh Gross | The Jaguar says:

        Haha, then I’ll have to use the “tired as a nipple” phrase more often. What phrase should one use when they’re feeling energetic, though?

        Or even wobbly-legged Beauty! Because I can promise you that after sleeping for many years our ex-comatose friend’s muscles would have atrophied significantly.

        Like

  3. haru says:

    strawberry shortcake is a hoe that needs to be exposed for who she really is!! 😂

    when i was a child, i believed some really concerning things. for some reason, i thought that if i went to the bathroom at night, i would have to ask my parents if it was okay or else evil surgeons would come out of the toilet to kidnap me????
    i also thought that the parks and rec theme song was originally the office’s theme song, but they stole it from the office. i honestly have no idea where i got that from.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shay says:

      Expose. That. Hoe! And I believed that ghosts and monsters would come get me if I went to the toilet at night or didn’t close the door but you’re on some next level! 😂 And I guess the theme tunes are kindaaaa similar. The shows are pretty similar… 😂

      Like

  4. Starr says:

    😂😂😂😂 the ‘hahaha these ignorant fools’ got me. When I was little, I was told that if I made so much noise at night, the voice monster would steal my voice and I wouldn’t be able to speak again…😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Girl Illustrated says:

    😂😂😂 omg it’s 3 in the morning here and I’m trying to keep my laughter in. And yes, I failed. Well when I was a kid, I thought people never died. Like as they grow older, they’ll eventually become younger. Really wish it was like that tho. And once, my grandmother told me that if I whistle at night, vampires would come. Still scared of that one tho…

    Liked by 3 people

  6. ~Kerys says:

    HAHA!!! I loved reading this! I’m literally trying to stop myself from laughing out loud! 😂😂 This was so relatable! I believed the wind one! And aww it must have been so sad when your teacher said a plant didn’t need love! The orange juice one was a bit out there though! 😂😂❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Bayance says:

    Girl the strawberry shortcake one had me dead. 😂😂😂 AHAHAHAHAHHA you probably scarred that girl with the orange juice theory. I believed so many stupid things (I did a post back in November – https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/131243262/posts/6564 – shameFUL self promo 😂 But I used to think babies came out of stomachs and the doctors had to cut the belly with SAWS – needless to say, I was actually pretty relieved when I found out the natural way. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shay says:

      Girl, don’t trust that hoe! 😂 And I knowwww, I don’t even speak to her anymore so I can’t even look back and laugh! She could still be traumatised 😂 I’ll have a look at your post and OMG saws?? I used to think babies were made if you kissed someone for a long amount of time and it came out of your stomach but not by a saw 😂😂

      Liked by 2 people

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